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Courtney Newman Oct 2019
Anger sizzles, popping like grease
little legs tremble, small and weak
Volumn so high, ears abused
dying inside from the words that were used
So much disappointment, head is buzzing
please, oh please, won't you just love me
Nightmares awake, they bruise, they bleed
ungrateful for all that's been given to me
"Dry those tears, stop that whining,
only babies do all that crying"
Echoes repeating, useless, stupid
clumsy, ungrateful, all I touch gets ruined
I know that I'm a burden, a mistake
Mama told me every single day
Verbal abuse on a child by their parent is everlasting
Courtney Newman Oct 2019
Everything is washed in red
I can't get past the words you said
Memories batter me, still drawing blood
moments washed away in angers' flood
You still lie and manipulate
I still flinch and hesitate
Nothing's the same, how could it be?
When I still feel you trying to control me
The wound is festering, hot to touch
apologies don't heal, they're just a crutch
There's no cure, time only eases
and red still colors all my feelings
forgiveness is impossible when you can't let go of the anger
Courtney Newman Oct 2019
I wear upon my head the mad hat of the mad hatter
My burning eyes bleed brightly, silencing all the laughter
Corners gather all the shadows that my heart has shared,
And footsteps quickly walk away whimpering in fear
I say to them "don't be scared, I wasn't sent to hurt you"
But they can't hear me anymore they've been stuffed into a shoe
I hold my empty hand out looking for some comfort
But they all bat my hand away unwilling to even touch it
My blank face tells no stories, I hold them all inside
There they'll stay locked up tight, safe from this world's lies
Now my hat is sitting crooked and my hair is spilling out
Everyone who looks at me begins to point and shout
"I didn't steal this hat" I say "it was given as a gift"
But they can't hear my words at all as "they" don't even exist

— The End —