Those urges,
For the blood.
They make me go crazy.
It kills me.
I want to cut.
I want to bleed.

The doors are open
you don't know how.
Why did I open my eyes
just to see you die
Why didn't I see it
Unfolding again?
Why didn't you stop me?
You saw me headed for disaster.

Why didn't you open your eyes?
And why did you let yourself die?
I knew that I'd gone too far
but I let myself fall too hard

I should have opened my eyes and saw what would start
I should have know right from the first ****** scar
That my heart would be broken
My body torn open
My mind always coping
My soul always hoping
That my eyes would see me back to the start.

I'd like to know if it was beyond my control
Why did I let you revert?
I just wanted to see you hurt.
But that masochistic state of mind
Is how I let myself die

How does it not hurt me
to cut my own skin and deprive my body?
Why am I sad that I woke up today?
On my death bed still wondering
how much I weigh

I should have opened my eyes and saw what would start
I should have know right from the first ****** scar
That my heart would be broken
My body torn open
My mind always coping
My soul always hoping
That my eyes would see me back to the start.

Back to start,
before I fell apart

Back to the start,
a beating heart.

Back to the start

If only I could just restart.

Counting calories, telling lies
She'll keep this up until she dies.
Empty eyes, empty stomach, empty heart, empty mind;
What I've become is enough to drive myself mad
Empty, empty, empty. I'm nothing but sad.
So here it is girls, the rumors were true
I try so hard to be as skinny as you.
A monster, A *******, empty, empty girl;
I'm killing myself with my poor mental health.
Starving for beauty, beauty is pain
My head hurts so bad, I'm going insane.
Clutching my ribs, my thighs caving in
They were right--
Anorexia wins.

In a dark time, the eye begins to see,
I meet my shadow in the deepening shade;
I hear my echo in the echoing wood--
A lord of nature weeping to a tree,
I live between the heron and the wren,
Beasts of the hill and serpents of the den.

What's madness but nobility of soul
At odds with circumstance? The day's on fire!
I know the purity of pure despair,
My shadow pinned against a sweating wall,
That place among the rocks--is it a cave,
Or winding path? The edge is what I have.

A steady storm of correspondences!
A night flowing with birds, a ragged moon,
And in broad day the midnight come again!
A man goes far to find out what he is--
Death of the self in a long, tearless night,
All natural shapes blazing unnatural light.

Dark,dark my light, and darker my desire.
My soul, like some heat-maddened summer fly,
Keeps buzzing at the sill. Which I is I?
A fallen man, I climb out of my fear.
The mind enters itself, and God the mind,
And one is One, free in the tearing wind.

Nobody knows that i am alone in the world
Nobody will ever know because
Nobody cares and
Nobody thinks of anything other than themselves and
Nobody ever will because
Nobody knows that I am here and
Nobody wants me to be here.

written by mahali mogan, my friend, she is also 12 and in my class