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188 · May 2020
First love
Chabbysuke May 2020
I turned around and saw your face.
Right then and there, I fell in love.
You smiled and my world just melted,
Little butterflies fluttered in my stomach.
Sweet letters I wrote and still keep under my bed,
Short glimpses that make my day,
Daily doses and episodes of you.
Watching you from far away,
I can't help from falling everyday.
Your smile brightens up my day;
Your sweet words when you speak
Moves my heart, I fell again.
Closer and closer, I can sense you.
Closer and closer, you are so near me.

And then you knelt, and I froze
I don't know what to do
I was lost for words and had my hand to my chest
Tears began to suddenly pour.
Oh, how much I love you so!
I wanted to reach and embrace you
But, your previously melting smile,
Froze me on the spot.
I wanted to look into your eyes
To see the love inside.
Sadly, my feet won't let me move.
The echoes of people in the background,
Resounded and almost broke me.
When she said YES,
I know, It's too late
She's yours and you're hers
How I wish it was me!
Oh, how I wish it was me.
97 · May 2020
Burning Fire
Chabbysuke May 2020
Burning fire, a wild fire in a forest
No amount of water can stop it
Raging, invincible
Smoking and so wild
Reaching even the farthest places
Continuous…simultaneous
Unprecedented…so sudden
Don’t know where it came from
Somewhere far away from home.

My heart is racing
My mind is panicking.
I cannot think clearly.
I’m clouded. Oh, the whole place is clouded.
So much smoke, left and right
Anytime soon I’ll be found dead.

Oh! I am melting like a marshmallow!
I cannot take this anymore
I try to fight it and defy it
But, I’m almost at my breaking point.
It’s all around me, devouring what’s around me.
The tongue of fire licking my skin
So hot, I’m dying…suffocating
I’m seeing no hope anymore
I’ve got nowhere to go
The ground is opening its mouth wide for me
To bury my ashes deep down.

How many more minutes have I got?
Coz I don’t think I can still last a little longer.
This vicious fire is killing me.
I hate it but I really don’t have any options left.
It is right here and I cannot escape.
No help somewhere
Oh, I’m calling for a miracle!
I’ll be out of breath soon
Just a bit more
A little bit more air
It’s going out, I’ll pass out soon

Burnt and dead in the middle of nowhere
Vultures will swoop down my remains
Devour me like they always do
I’ll say goodbye soon
Coz the clock is ticking fast
I ain’t any Cinderella
With at least a midnight to wait.

Pain! It hurts so much.
Flesh, it’s peeling and burning.
Sadness, no point for that anymore!
Tortured and mistreated
Misunderstood and mistaken
Ain’t a witch but I got this.
Ordeal by fire
And the crowd goes wild!
Seeing me on the ground
Writhing in pain
Screaming for help!
Oh…this is never been fair.

But there’s no point in resisting anymore
Burning fire, burning fire
Can we just be friends for the last time?

Huh! I see you’re still cunning and wicked.
You want me dead and gone.
Now I see where these came from
All fire in the forest, you wanted them to swallow me

Gosh, it hurts…I’m melting here!
Yes…dead and none.
Now I feel it’s time
It’s about time and goodbye!

Eyes closing
Feet stopped shaking
I’m on the ground
Lying on the ground and watching death to consume me
Four, three, two, one…and gone.
Written: June 5, 2019
88 · May 2020
I am a Phoenix
Chabbysuke May 2020
I am a phoenix
A legendary bird, a legendary creature
I soar high above the clouds
Even in stormy days and nights.
I know how to flutter my wings.
I know how to sing.
My voice will give you shiver down your spine
‘Coz it sounds very mystical.
You’ll hear it when you truly listen
Not just by mere hearing it.
I can also heal you through tears
‘Coz that’s one magic I have from within.
I can carry immense loads
Even though you never saw me as one who can.
I can do it far better than
Those who never believe in me.
Well, I am a strong phoenix
A phoenix you thought never existed
I am a phoenix who can surpass miles of your disbeliefs.

I am a phoenix.
A legendary bird, a legendary creature
I burn at the right time.
I get caught on fire sometimes
And die right on the spot.
But no worries because I am a Phoenix.
I rise from my ashes again.
88 · May 2020
A Memory Box
Chabbysuke May 2020
I closed my eyes one night
Saw vivid images of yesterday
Waking up with heaviness
I think, I just cried once again

Some doors I closed way back
Turned out opening one by one
Even boxes I completely hidden
Opened once more in front of me

The memory box has opened one more time
Displaying all memories I kept inside
Years of golden experiences
Jewels of friends I truly cherish

Back when those times happened
Now I feel so nostalgic about it
Can't stop tears from pouring
Even my heart is beating fast

I remember all the laughters and joy
Even embarrassments and painful ones
I can recall funny moments
Even simple ones with them

Making friends and family
‘Til now, I cherish them like that
I've found them during those years
That's why I'm calling it "golden years"

I miss the olden times
Funny how time flies that fast
These memories I keep
All these years, they never fade

I opened my eyes again
I see the memory box opened wide
I cried once again
Coz they are now only memories I remember

I wish I could dive in it
Or hold them onto my hands again
Wishing I'll be back
To the times when they actually happened

Reality strikes in tonight
I'm no longer that person before
That was then, this is now
So much time had already passed

Memory box, Memory box
Will you still open yourself for me to reminisce?
Memory box, memory box
I'm crying all over again.
Written: February 11, 2019
77 · May 2020
A Flower in the Dark
Chabbysuke May 2020
Like a Flower living in the dark,
Unnoticed by the world outside.
The beauty from within, forgotten
For the darkness swallowed it whole.

The bloom of the Flower started
But no one ever saw it happen.
Hidden beneath the tree trunks,
Awaiting to be trod on, to be discovered.

The world always looks at others
Who shine and bloom so bright in the light.
Compromising the hundred and fold beauty
Of the Flower in the dark.

The world didn’t dare search for more
Contented and satisfied in everything that’s only within their reach
Not daring to explore and know
Ignoring completely what’s there hiding in the depths of the dark.

A Flower in the dark
Judged by the outside circumstances
Ignored for a million times
Leaving it undiscovered, unseen in the dark.
Written: April 2017
69 · May 2020
Twists and Turns
Chabbysuke May 2020
For a while, the world just stopped
I wonder where it all went wrong
Somewhere deep inside,
I have a strange feeling telling me why

Scared and fragile,
Afraid to take another step.
Every move is calculated again,
Afraid to make a huge mistake.

Someone whispered words of encouragement
But some are also putting me to shame.
I want to yell it all to them
"I didn't do it, so why is it always me?!"

No one can make them understand
Or even defend my broken heart.
Even though I am not the root of it all,
Stones keep on coming at me.

Something's probably wrong with the world
That I know nothing about.
Many call me a liar
Telling me it is really all my fault.

Unable to stand again,
'Coz the nails pierced me so deep.
Unable to say a word,
'Coz even truth will not prevail here.

I almost lost sight of the goal
Almost gave up at the last second
Almost drowned at the bottom
Of the abyss of their judgment

I called out for help
But no words came out of my mouth
So tired to push back and go up
I guess, this is really my painful fate

When I closed my teary eyes
Saw darkness inside of me
But light came in to save me
Pulled me back and now I can breathe again

As I looked to see where it all came
No one was there, not even a shadow or sound
Drenched in cold water
I'm so glad, I didn't die at all

They all greeted me now
Thought they would throw stones again
But saw remorse building up
Seeing acceptance in their unknown faces

I wonder how it happened
I was just there, ready to die
But rescue came to me
I think I'm really that blessed

No one dared again
Hating me for something I didn't do
No one spoke ill of me
I guess, truth now is possible for me

— The End —