the first time it happens
its a wound you don't let heal
it festers and poisons
your visions for life are blinded
and anyone who sees your face
can read your pain

the second time
it's much more real
you watch life wither slowly halting to an end
you pretend it ain't happening but
that's because you see it coming
and you don't know how to deal

but this this third time
i just feel guilty
because i stayed away
and let all the love offered
radiate without me

i stay strong cause i have to
i see you soaring and i know
you wouldn't want to see me wallow

Isn't it lovely
When pervy men
Pop up in your DM box
And try to make you feel
That you are a failure

Hmm
Someone's pen
Is thicker than his ****

Flowers and skin
There is something somehow
Some way to save me
Its always been
I would cover my ears with both hands
And look to the stars
I know they speak to me
I scream to break my silence

I would love to fall
Past the floorboards
The memories
Past the slaughter
Past the pain
I would fall to love

Guide is all I ask
Guide my faith

Lips and eyes
Words and sight
An empty street full of signs
Giving me direction
Come to life
Be my blood
I could be hopeless
And still hope for you

I'll know my faith's a life away

I would drown in the water
I would bleed in the slaughter
Take away all that ever matters
I can burn in the fire
Watch the stars that expire

Still I

I would blow in the wind
I would know of the end
And give away all that ever mattered
I can relish the hurt
My bones in the dirt

Still

I'll be a man
Not alive
No hands
No eyes
I would see though the miles
I would reach through the darkness
To find the only thing that matters

Still
Its

I'll know your face

The world is losing gravity
How long can I hold onto the surface?
This turgid turf
These blades of grass
My feet don't know the ground
Without blood

All we ever wanted was to float away
Idyllic in expression and hopeful
As a prisoner

The light that I see can only be the remains
Of dead and dying stars
Figmants of imagination
Relics from the ancients
And our modern prophets seeking profit

The world is losing gravity
I am losing air

All we ever wanted was to float away
And end up in the sun

I understand her beautifully
And I understand her tragedy
In a world that can't be saved
I'm saving her
As she's saving me,

And even her silence
Speaks everything
And even my silence
Says more

I'm afraid
That I don't need her skin
That I may breathe without her breath
I'm afraid
I don't need her love
When she's all I ever need

She understands me cosmically
She reads all of my stars
In a world that's only death
We live together
Or not,

And even her silence
Screams at me
And my silence
Is a pleading voice

The ghost that I'll become
Is covered in scars
Skin is skin and without skin
The ghost that I'll become
Is covered in scars
From the times before
I can't forgive myself
I don't expect you'll forgive me
As my bones and hands
Break in this world
And every scar
Is a mark upon my soul
I don't have to live forever
To never forget
I'm dying now
And bringing it with me

Do you ask yourself sometimes?
What it is and what will be?
Who we are
Trains may arrive in stations
The hands on the clock
Our fingers
But our hands have never been pure
Who we are

How it feels
To feel
How it feels to feel just the way you do

Don't you want love and silver and gold?
What is truth and how we seek
Who we are
Clocks always strike the minute
But our hands toil with the devils work
Our faces never stay the same
Marching forward
Who we are

And how it feels
To feel
For you
Time doesn't give a reason

According to the gospel
As the lord and savior traversed the holy land
Preaching the word and showing the light
Speaking with god and devil alike
Speaking love to mankind
It is said
He would find the sick
The suffering of infirmity
He would lay his hands to their skin
And heal them
He would heal them
According to the gospel

My days are long
And I have bruises that don't show on my flesh
Impracticalities that should cause mental maladies
That would help me find the self destruction I fear
And that I fear awaits me
I'm tired when I wake up
And dead through the day
But I feel alive
Every time I put my words to the page
I feel a sage
Whose wisdom is generational
I feel hope

I may be sick
Maybe
I may be a lost and tortured soul unfit to exist
In this existence
Maybe
I may feel pain
I may
And the only disease I know is the brutality of life
Maybe

Poetry heals me
It is the hands in the desert
On the ***** in the cave
It is the words as rain to feed the seed
It is the sprout of a flower
And the bloom
It is my reason
And my religion

It is my gospel

And when the angels sing
If no one else can hear but I can
I'll know of peace
In a world of disarray