Gently, she goes
as soft as a fawn
opens the window
and waits for the dawn
fireflies glow
wind caresses her face
as she sheds all the shadows
not leaving a trace
She dons velvet darkness
wrapped in its cloak
releases all poisons,
                 sylphlike,
             in smoke
She is preparing for battle
in her own, quiet way
She only wants wholeness
as she breaks through the gray
For soon she will weave
prismatic wonders of spells
her own inner aurora
lighting heaven from hell
For suffered she has
and it's time to forgive
unlock self-made prisons
and let herself live
and now as sunrise approaches
stars still in sight
she turns the skeleton key
and glides
into
             flight

that blows a breath of hope
through the hottest day
that  stagnant dry beating down skin
on fire day in June
where your hair's on fire
in the shade
and  the earth exhales
like a thirsty
panting frothy mouthed dog
on the edge of a mirage
that keeps getting farther away
with every step
the pavement waves at you
in sine waves viewing
the road recede into distants
that lead to colder times
in pasts
or futures
I hope
but then that breeze
unexpected gushes up your shirt
or skirt
and  brings a gust
of relief
and all are filled
with hope again

As a child, our feelings ran free!
                         But….
         in the way of this world
       as we grew into adulthood,
     we were told that our feelings
    are not as significant as reason.

As we grow,
we are taught that showing feelings
                  is childish
we are told to control our feelings…
     Don’t let them see you cry,
showing feelings can be dangerous,
         it can show weakness
     making us seem too sensitive.
And because of what we are taught,
  we don’t always understand them
      or even know how they come.
But, they do come, knowing us better
          then we know ourselves.

    But I know that feelings matter…
         Love, pain, joy, hurt, happiness.
    Sometimes they can be small,
  like when I smell cookies baking
          and I miss my grams.
  And sometimes they are massive,
     like when my granddaughter
   died at birth and I watched her
                   come back!

However, if you are fortunate
       and I mean, really fortunate,
            that one feeling will come along
                   that will change everything!
I remember such a feeling,
and how it flooded my heart years ago
when this guy invited me to his community
and showed me his kind and loving heart.
And not so long ago,
                when I looked into his eyes!

And those are the same feelings
                   that I have right now….
The feeling that you are him,
       my future, my love, my heart, my life!
And this feeling, I trust, I believe in
    more than anything I have ever trusted
       or believed in, in my life!
Because with you, is the only place
      I have ever felt was home.

The battle between
darkness and depression
is onslaught for any troubled soul
for it takes place much deeper
than any dug out hole
This darkness seems to just find me
Takes over my world into my sanctuary
It settles around the iris of my eyes
Turning me into someone who just seems to cry
Rooted in negativity and lost in my pain
Through my eyes it enters my brain
Corrupting my each and every thought
Breeding unwelcome memories that like to haunt
Spreading now like poison through my veins
Trying to take over till nothing remains
Writing words is my only defense
When nothing else I do makes any sense
The power of prose keeps that place deep within me
Safe and free from this darkened toxicity…