Exhausted
Empty
from trying to hold
all their emotions with love
while mine flow unseen.

Even now, no-one knows
how I paused returning home,
set crutches aside, sat on the curb & cried
safely hidden from spying cameras & eyes.

Since I walked through that door
I’ve absorbed their emotions:
disappointment & blame,
frustration & sadness
irritation & hurt…
‘til now bewildered, exhausted
with no one to hold my heart
and care that I, too, feel…
spent
nothing left but a weary sigh
before I return to pry
the story of why he’d sleep on the couch
tonight

You,

blow warm breath,
into me,

e x h a l e

fragmented healing
into grey, smokestack lungs
warm energy,
wrapped
in a poison wind.

I pule, and whine, petulant:
"no," with a choke...
you squeeze scar tissue,
in your bloodless hands,
and expect it to flutter, for you?

It twists, like a wet rag,
in the stale air,
and bleeds, like the black tar
you hide, in your veins.

I can't

b re ath e,

and I'm drowning,
in the mud puddle, that is
you.

Your fingers, claw,
at the asbestos walls,
in long, ****** streaks.

I'm held fast, to the column,
in a burning building...
your white flag,
binds my limbs.
Your sweet smile
tears my ligaments,
in two.

I can't run, but

Why can't I
why can't I
breathe

I'm

C R A CKI NG

ash and bone, before you
something vaguely woman-shaped,
you hang your penitence, on.

I died, weighted,
beneath you,
and you just kept making love,

to a bombed-out, charcoal shell.

You can't hear me, crying.
It trickles away, soundless.
No pressure in the pipes;
no wind
in the reeds.

The finger valves,
only leak.

My blue eyed gaze
is henna,
on your brooding face
and forgotten again,
in mere
moments.

I vanish inside you,
like smoke.
Blue, scratchy ink--

a kanji insignia:
engraved,

upon the spot,
the location, where
your anatomical heart, should (be)at.

"Mechanical Soldier",
but I've never...
seen you fight for a nation,
that wasn't you.

When I was alone
in my world.
Alone, but never lonely.
Colours and canvases-
my only friends.
With no one
to care or bother.
You came along,
changed it all.
Now gone.

i think you might like me
but i'm scared of what you'll do
if i say something wrong
or if you don't like me too

what if you hate me
after i say it?
i don't want to ruin what we have.
so take my feeling, measure it, weigh it

maybe you're just like this
or maybe its something more
but if i do something wrong
what if things can't go back to the way they were before...?

I’m cold and heartless, hollow to the bone.
I’ll use you up and leave you all alone.
No guilt will bloom, no second glance or pause.
I am the storm that never checks its cause.