I've yet to meet another human such as yourself,
All other that I came to love at some point in time came a dime a dozen. I knew it then, I know it now.

But those days where you held my hand sparks did not fly, no. Tectonic plates crashed within my veins, sending quakes straight into my aorta and stopped my heart until the day you kissed my nose, my innards grew from bone, skin, muscle. To bark, leaves, and flowers.
Not only did you revitalize the heart you stopped but made it something so much more beautiful, a bleeding heart, just like the ones that grew outside my window when I was little.

And when I learned the kind of person you chose over me after months of gentle sun and careful watering I felt my lungs collapse and all I want to do with these useless sacks is drown them with rocks and try to relive the rumbling you once put in them with the smallest of gestures that obviously meant so much more than meant, because to sleep at night I need to tell myself my love for you is a **** and will consume all if gone unrequited. But when our skin touches or when my eyes meet the gleaming grin of such a work of art I feel a black hole in my chest for this desire will swallow up my stars and I want to never love again because you are the end game, my end game.

A dear friend once told me my love flows like a windmill.
Another that I have an old-timey love.

And to myself I have a fool's love.

Because when you loved, no matter what you saw a goddess.
When you loved, you showered them in affection and gave them all your time.

And called it modern love, for being a monotheistic prayer.

This is a dangerous love to give, when you needed a breath from all from all those hail mary's & asked for a little in return, that's when it starts.

Like a spoiled child with a god complex they react with distance, or abuse, or leaving. It didn't matter, Because I deserve so much more



So I say to myself drop that old-timey love & treat your lover a god and yourself a deity. Time to go polytheistic.

My Achilles heel is my heart, My body is made of strong, lean muscles.
Not a single broken bone.
Only a broken heart, 5 times over.
My love has never been matched, everything feels half-assed.

So drink that wine & smoke your 100's.
I'll sip this ***** & breathe the smoke that eludes you, maybe *** a drag or two.
Because you burned the bridge I was too scared to cross. It appears for good reason.

My biggest fear is to lose the one friend who cared more after I moved, rather than all the people who cared in convenience.

I remember all of the things you done for me, to bide my rupturing soul.
I used to think you were sealant.
But I feel myself crumbling to my feet.

And if we don't talk by two weeks time, I promise I will never depend on a single person or thing as I did you.
You tricked my subconscious to trust and put a meaning to forever.



Of all people I thought you would understand a drunken mistake.
This I had a right to say.

You were a beautiful, late 70's Firebird. Charging through life with the power of 100 horses, easily going 40 over the limit from day one.
During the summer I became a stormy night, The ditch that caught you when he turned into an oil slick. I got to hold you for some time.
She is your tow truck, arriving just as you started to welcome me as a home.

All the while, since the day I met you. You became a shelter for the storm that has been brewing for years.
Now you are gone & let me tell you something darling, It's ******* hurricane season, and I'm just a lighting rod, all I feel is the lighting ripping my chest apart more and more with every strike.

I might as well be one of your father's burger wrappers because you threw me out with a slight sense of disgust and ease.

How could you of chosen her to tend to your lips & to take your love

When I'm the one you call sobbing out of fear of a place that condemns the love you give her, 30 minutes doesnt matter then, huh?

Of course you meant more to me, then I did you.

When I thought we were close as could be, when all I could think of was the one last thing I needed to build the courage to kiss you, all the while you were becoming acquainted with anothers.

If it's all the same please don't sing her the same love songs, give me that much.