I've got so many dreams in my mind they're getting forced out of my ears
and I've got such a cloudy mind that I've been told it's said to be a burden.
but up here,
The sky is just so near,
the air smells so clear,
the stars hide in the back of my mind.
The earth lies below reflected in sparkling silver lining.
quiet goodbyes, white lies and too many signs
constantly drowning in golden moonlight.
it's the fact I'm floating above it all, scaling the mountaintops,
constantly grasping onto tree branches with my numb fingertips and I've got icy cold wind running through my wings and they're frozen but it's comforting.
there's a shocking chill the runs down your spine the reminds you what it's like to still alive.
it runs through your mind, your eyes, your veins.
maybe it'll make you realize you've been blind the entire time.
so just for a split second you squeeze your eyes and in a flash of light you see.
I've spent my lifetime being found and maybe once, maybe just once I'd like to get lost.

one day I'll stand tall and hold the world in my hands,  
have the ocean water seep into the cracks in my sore palms and all at once I'll know every story of every heart and head and hero that wants they're story told.
and I've learnt that either the whole world will either open itself up  or eat me whole
in different shades of white black and pale indigo,
as of now I can't tell which, maybe both.
but time will always surely tell.

you used to hide me like a bomb underground,
or wear me like a noose around your fragile neck,
but it was I who was chocking on your white lies
and holding into the memories with my brittle bones.

i could read your thoughts from a distance,
your heartbeat was like the sound of pills
pouring into my vibrating hands.

there were different,
more efficient ways to lose your life,
but for some odd reason,
i chose you.

I                  
                                           do
not

           write

just                
                     to
please

                               you