I know that you are disappointed
And,
I know that you are bitter
But
Sometimes your contempt is to much to bear.
Especially
For someone as weak
As me.
I swear. I am trying.
Because
I am so desperate for your approval.

Why do I do this?
She sounded so tired when we talked on the phone
Tired of me
Well
I don't blame her
I'm tired of me too

I don't know what to do. I'm so confused. I'm so lost.
What am I going to do? Am I going to be happy?  I hope so. Oh god I hope so. I hide, or put off things because it's easier. I'm like a baby. If I can't see it then it doesn't exist right ?? If I ignore it then maybe it will go away...
I don't know what to do. I'm so confused.
And desperate.
And to be honest I'm not sure when it started.
Or why.
I just know that I'm ready for it to end.

You know it's fascinating?
No one will ever know my favorite colour.
Because we all see something different.