I thought I was great
I thought I was worth it
Now all this hate
Has made me uncertain

You keep putting me off
To a later date
That would never come
And you wonder why I hate...
Us

I thought I was great
I thought I was worth it
Now all this hate
Has made me uncertain

You keep tearing me apart
Wouldn't fix me back
Deny all your actions,
And wonder why I'm cracked...
Up

I thought I was great
I thought I was worth it
Now all this hate
Has made me uncertain

You ne'er taught me to love,
When there's no love, there hate
Accuse me of having demons
Your concern for me is fake.

Sometimes I wonder
If I'm stupid,

Cause I can't act like the others,
Just can't do it.

I tried to be normal for a time,
Efforts didn't show one bit.

If you want to see them,
Just look up to heaven,
That's where you will find
All the pretty angels

With hearts of gold,
Souls of the bold,
Greatest stories remain untold.

-That's where you will find
All the pretty angels

Something scary in my mind-
The thought of you go;

Body, wearied, cracked by time,
Hope you don't die so.

You are too young,
Too young to die,

Don't leave me alone.

Something warped, borne in my mind:

Should've been me instead,
Could've been me instead,
Would've been me instead...

...Don't leave me alone,
Don't leave me alone...

The truth serves no purpose anymore,
Everyday's the same dream
Mindless, lifeless, happiness-poor,
The world isn't as it seems.

Days, weeks, months, years, feeling stranger,
By my trauma strangled,
Too ungreat to bring 'bout changes,
In your lies I'm tangled

School's all that matters,
Not eduction
No one cares about effort,
Just router perfection.

Between the seams,
Are scary dreams.

I'd like to be...

...Eventually...

Able to roam
Around so free

I have secrets
Inside of me.

Can you discover why I'm even here,
Can't you feel,
I think our end is near
But are sure you really want to know?
So little of me and such a long way to-

-Go-

-Away
To you, I say.
You think you know
It all, hurray!

But, no, you don't,
Not even close,
There's one last piece
Of the puzzle to go.

...I know...
...You can't...
...Resist...
...The temptation...
...Inside my chest...

You keep telling me things that I know
But what if you were in my place?
Being unable to stand
The look of your own face?

Can't trust thoughts anymore,
Myself, a living disgrace?

School is all that matters,
Not anymore education,
I speak to you, what you tell me to do
You say its "frustration."

Ignoring, abusing, overusing, shutting down my body systems-
People are so hard to please,

Don't know accurate name for my behaviours,
Just call it "Disease"

Being a misfit,
I try to be you,
You don't know I've been suicidal
Since my second *Grade 2

I don't ussually ask for much
But when I do
Apparently it is to great
For you to do?

Apologies for I, disappointment.
Please, I don't ask for sympathy
You may not believe, but,
I do not cry deliberately.

honestly, I TRUELY naturally forget
I don't know how to communicate with spoken words, yet.
When I do, they are usually lies
So my only way , throu poetry, I write.

When you ask what's going on,
Honestly, I can't recall
Without my poems and songs, about me,
No one would know much at all.

Been this way ever sine in Haiti
What I call "Disease"
Is an extended, ongoing culture and reverse-culture shock, maybe?