I am not fine.
I am not ok.
I exist and that is it.
I’m am tired.
I am worn.
I have walked this path before.
And this cold and lonely pace
Reminds me of what I hate.
And I keep it at the surface instead of forgotten  like a dream.
And you can’t make it disappear.
And you can’t make it any better.
Your on your own.
But it’s not like it’s the first time.
You have a gift
Of knowing what you know now.
And you exist like a ghost amongst the living.
And it’s an easy choice to turn back once you see this.
But you go on.
Cause your strong.
A hero of your own story now you know.

Its the cold dark night
That tears apart  your heart
And leaves you in the dark  
Hollowed out to rot.

The sounds they are so deafening
Of sirens going past.
The city lights are blinding
From above the shadows cast.

And you call out to the wind.
And hear the silence stay.
You were once alive.
But now your left astray.

In the cold dark night
Your worst fears they come alive.
And eat at you like demons
From below and above they fight.

Its the cold dark night
That tears apart  your heart
And leaves you in the dark  
Hollowed out to rot.

Found it in a bottle, buried in the sand.
I dug it out, pulled the cork, and held it in my hand.
And on a rolled up paper words were  written down.
And the very top it started with two words:

Dear mom.
I hope this finds you well.
I wrote every feeling down and set it free.
To the oceans waves to carry away.
And every word carries with it everything I’ve Carried with me.

To the times I cried and you wiped my tears.
Told a younger me I shouldnt have any fears.
Lit a light when it got dark.
Gave me yours when they broke my heart.
And told me none of those girls deserved me.

Dear mom.
I hope this finds you well.
I wrote every feeling down and set it free.
To the oceans waves to carry away.
And every word carries with it everything I’ve Carried with me.

Trouble always had a way of finding me.
But you always had a way of dealing with me.
Sometimes for better sometimes for worse.
I know sometimes I broke your heart.
But still you always tried to help me.
Well I’m writing this because I know
You did all because you loved me.

And as the sun set.
I rolled the note up.
As a tear rolled down cheek and glistened in the sun.
I put the note back in the bootle and ******* the cork back on.
And threw that bottle back into the ocean to swallow up.
And I whispered to myself.

Dear mom.
I hope this finds you well.
I wrote every feeling down and set it free.
To the oceans waves to carry away.
And every word carries with it everything I’ve Carried with me.

The mother she is broken, tattered and torn.
shes given her soul to her family and lord.
The father is busy with work and a secretary with low self esteem.
The son is busy looking at boys and the daughters is busy with all sorts of boys.
Well what a family.
That’s what you call a family.

They married young right out of high school.
She got knocked up and that’s where it went downhill
He started drinking and messing around.
She kept busy stuck close to the house.

Now one crying baby led to another.
A strong face was worn by the mother.
The father slaves to bring in some cash.
But he just wished to rewind the past.

Well that’s a family.
That’s whats you call a family.
One big happy family.

Who’s name I do not want to say
Who brought me so much pain
But whose love taught me to grow and Change.

I do not know where you are
But  Even in your darkest hour
You always managed to smile.
And I know you are ok.

You said we’d be better off
And you were right.
I spent many lonely nights
Just trying to figure it out.
But I’n the end I think you were right
I was better off.

Who’s name I do not want to say
We haven’t spoken since that day
You left behind memories that wouldn’t go away

I tried to drown them out with liquid demons and any and everything.
I pushed away family and friends
All because I could not comprehend what I know now was we weren’t meant to be.

You said we’d be better off
And you were right.
I spent many lonely nights
Just trying to figure it out.
But I’n the end I think you were right
I was better off.

As the frozen lake begins to melt,
The summer arrives and beats it’s chest.
From frost bite to sun tans.
From cold wind to cool sand.
From warm gloves to warm hands.
Seasons change and so do we.
I got love for you. And I got life for the world.
Together we can explore it like it’s our own.
I got doubts but their small,
Compared to what we have.
We will rule his world
And the seasons will still pass.

Oh brilliant stars above
Whether  your standing still or shining bright,
You fill my mind with wonder.
Oh what a sight it is to gaze upon your shine.
A twinkle for every empty space.
A light that’s dead before it arrives.
What tragedy this story hides.
A black canvas to make its own.
The stars they always find a home.
Infinity Wishes forever wished upon.
Not everyone answered,
Not everyone fallen in love.
Great Norh star that leads the way.
Finds me when I can’t find my way.
The marker north, pointing on.
The stars above will guide me home.