I'm a hypocrite in transparency.
Veracities remain submerged.
Consequences don't exist.

but you see -
she has
a tendency
to be silent
when it gets
real loud
inside her head.

There's a fine line between wanting to let your guard down to trust the process versus the fear of being vulnerable and mentally preparing for the heart break.

I didn't want to,
disappoint you.

So I tried to,
reassure you.

But I can't make a reflection
feel emotions

I crave an old school love. The kind where reciprocated effort is displayed effortlessly. A mutual respect that doesn't need questioning. Trust in the fact that no matter what life disrupts, compassion will not be one of them. The days can get complicated, but an authentic love has the potential of pure ease.
I have no desire to settle or entertain the idea of a temporary fix for affection. I am too busy falling inlove with the girl I am becoming, the best version of myself. Independence is one hell of a drug. And I am happy with the "right now."

Eunoia is my desired state of being.