Hey friend it’s been a while
Do you still want to punch me in the face?
It’s ok you can say
That you hope I fall to my death in the most spectacular way
Don’t laugh it off I know it’s true
It’s been a while but I feel it too
I feel the hate, I feel the rage
I drink the poison you wanted me to taste
So yeah you’re right I am a ****, I am a *****, and honestly it’s fair
I am the reason that you ball your fists, smash the wall and pull out your hair
But what I did was ruin myself because really I did want you near
I held your messages close
I laughed at your jokes, really
I was being sincere
I smiled at you when you couldn’t even see, I giggled and blushed and wore happiness all over me
Doesn’t matter now though, it’s all been and gone
I’m probably just another verse in a hate filled song
Just another line in a poem of pain
Just like myself you’ve gone completely insane

In the place I’d grown up,
I find myself still

Surrounded by mountains,
at the bottom of a hill

The trees that grow around me,
have watched me as I’ve aged

They’ve also watched as I’ve returned,
like a captive too long caged

For a while when I came back,
I urged to run away

But the magic in these mountains,
has saved me every day

When the dark comes knocking,
and I just want to run

I run towards the forest,
into dappled spots of sun

I sit there in the hour,
named after golden light

And in that orange daydream,
the dark is out of sight

I don’t realise I’ve been holding my breath until those rare still moments
When all I hear are birds and I’m drowning in a light that makes everything pink, like a red sock dying the washing
And I let out a big exhale when I see the moon in the sky as the sun is setting
It’s all     so      beautiful
It squeezes the air out of me
And I want to just exist here in this sacred hour
Where the loneliness feels not so tight and everything feels lighter and it’s ok that it’s just me

If sorry was enough my love, I would scream it everyday
For you I would say any words if they could take the pain away
If sorry was enough my love, I would scratch it on my skin
For you the cuts run deeper then the guilt I'm drowning in
If sorry was enough my love, I would have told you from the start
But sorry will never be enough to fix your broken heart