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Amelia of Ames Sep 2021
Oh god she hates me
Wait she JUST made you tea
That's not hate
Don't take the bait


There you go again
Going from zero to ten
Try some reality testing
I'm just suggesting!


Like the Matrix or Inception?!?
No no different direction
This isn't a movie
It's about brains being goofy


So what's that biz?
Assess a situation for what it is
Rather than from our emotions
Get rid of anxious notions


See other perspectives
Try being objective
Start doing the logistics
Keep your thought life realistic

#Therapy
O an ode to my psychologist
Amelia of Ames Sep 2021
Whatever is the matter?
Pitter patter

Go away

I'm only getting fatter
More dreams shatterd

Every day

Nope, your stomach's gettin flatter
No more chatter

Come out and play

.
.
.

Okay
Amelia of Ames Sep 2021
Kitty cat kitty cat
Stole his place this evening
Kitty cat kitty cat
No more competing

Kitty cat kitty cat
I won't mind you stay
Kitty cat kitty cat
I'll leave as well today

Kitty cat kitty cat
Do you care if we go?
Kitty cat kitty cat
To me you felt like home

Kitty cat kitty cat
You don't feel my dread
Kitty cat kitty cat
Sleeping on my bed
Amelia of Ames Sep 2021
"No one cares"
Is a lie

"I forgot"
Is ok, most of the time

"I'm not like I was"
Is true for better as well as worse

"It's getting worse"
Is only a perspective

If you want something to happen
You have to care
You have to put the work in
You've got this, and they've got your back
Amelia of Ames Sep 2021
Binging 'content' because depression
Watching videos on losing weight
Making notes to begin a journey?
Realizing I haven't walked 500 steps today

Slipping on shoes
Smiling at the swaying bridge
Soaring skateboards pass me
Sand pressed on the shore

Discovering a new overgrown place
Dusting off my legs for deer ticks
Daring myself to sing and daydream
Dusk settling down

Coming back tired
Refusing to eat or socialize
Hiding in my room
Wanting to tear myself apart again
Maybe I'd be better off spending my whole life walking aimlessly
Amelia of Ames Sep 2021
I walked towards a new place
Where I could climb, and yet had never been before
At once, I was gone

I was in a loose line of souls
Waiting for the devil, Hades
He had taken me here early

He had gone to the human world
Where he fell for me
And he had no care to wait for me to join him

I begged him to take me back, angry to lose my life and my climb
He ignored me, but his helper hinted
If I failed his test, I could leave

I didn't know how to fail without angering him or seeming fake
A test of probability, I passed 9 out of 10
Why couldn't I be a better actor? The right kind of failure?

He made me stay with him as he went back to the human world
To spend time with my grieving family as his human persona
As they cried, it dawned that I was losing them too

I was unable to touch them, comfort them
No one comforted me
He ignored me, **** him

He remarked, humanly, that he had made some money to build a bird house
Sharing a small goal achieved with his houswife, his captive
As he took my life, my love, my climb

I woke up crying, choking from the hold of my devil
Amelia of Ames Dec 2020
The voice in my head
Called my phone
I picked up because the number said "Mom"

The voice in my head
Asked me what I was thinking
Un-friending a man who made me uncomfortable

The voice in my head
Wouldn't let up
When I said I didn't want to talk about it

The voice in my head
Got upset
When I hung up on it

She threw away my gift to her, and left me with hers.
She says I don't treat her like I do my father.
My father was the one who fished my gift to her out of the trash.
He tries to save us, quiet us.
Me and the voice in my head.
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