Every time i think I’ve hit the bottom there is another hole in the floor. Searching for my way out but i cant find the door.
Unstable and unsteady again and again i fall, i am worried when its over there will be nothing left at all.
Crumbling all around me so much that needs repair. Do i keep on  holding it together not giving into despair.
I long for peace like a desert longs for rain, but here i am falling through chaos and pain.
This grief so heavy rising is a chore. Half afraid of /half longing for the day i wont rise anymore.
Just the honest truth my insides feel like a battle torn waste, but on the outside i pull it all back put a smile on my face.
Like planting roses for a structure that has been condemned. Trying to protect something precious but not equipped to defend.
Living in this pattern of hold it together, cry out, crawl, and fall. Nothing that i do seems to matter at all.
Left wondering why i keep fighting when it seems to all end in a mess. I don’t want perfect i just don’t want Aching emptiness.

they say when life is over to heaven we will fly
from our life on earth we must say goodbye
to heaven up above a million miles away
where we can rest in peace where the angels stay

to a land of love safe for evermore
side by side together with angels we will soar
waiting for our loved ones when they are angels to
united once again in the sky so blue

safe forever more we will always be
united with our friends and our family
in heaven up above a million miles away
at peace for ever more where the angels stay

i know she’s more than capable
she left me at the table
the lines we drew won’t intersect
it’s probably best we never met

Clarity
Truth of the mind
Does it foster love?
Or does it foster chaos?
Lateral truth
Lateral violence
How many have died
Fighting for lies?

Suddenly we see
At the corners of our eyes
The cost of our love