system dysregulation is
uncomfortable to endure. However,

“life does not wait,”
a friend warned me once,

“Well, yes;” I still want to
go to class. To get meals. To gatherings. To meetings. To

spaces, catalysts for anxiety,
spaces that sometimes escape my comfort zone and lie

startling and dysregulating
what becomes my Flesh Prison.

Sometimes, they feel unsettling and unnaturally unsafe, and
Doubt spells doom on the walls of my guts:

“this is the end”, “turn back”, “you won’t make it,” yet
I always emerge from battle unscathed.

It’s part of what compels me to return to
those places, still at war in chains,

Even in fleeting, present moments, amidst the
phlegm, stomach flips and swells of fear,

I persist; it’s part of what compels
me to get to the places again, despite the fact that Nervous

system dysregulation is
uncomfortable to endure. Unfortunately,

life does not wait,
so said a friend to me once,

so I must still go to
class. To get meals. To gatherings. To meetings. To

spaces that sometimes lie
outside my comfort zone,

scaring and dysregulating me further.
Sometimes, they feel unsettling and unnaturally unsafe.

Doubt convinces me of doom;
“this is the end”, “turn back”, “you won’t make it,”

Yet I always come out okay.

Even in fleeting, present moments, amidst the
phlegm, stomach flips and swells of fear,

I persist; it’s part of what compels
me to get to the places again, despite the fact that Nervous

system dysregulation is
uncomfortable to endure. Unfortunately,

life does not wait,
so said a friend to me once,

so I must still go to
class. To get meals. To gatherings. To meetings. To

spaces that sometimes lie
outside my comfort zone,

scaring and dysregulating me further.
Sometimes, they feel unsettling and unnaturally unsafe.

Doubt convinces me of doom;
“this is the end”, “turn back”, “you won’t make it,”

Yet I always come out okay.

Even in fleeting, present moments, amidst the
phlegm, stomach flips and swells of fear,

I persist; it’s part of what compels
me to get to the places again, despite the fact that Nervous

As the noise of the
room grows, and everything
begins to feel ***** and
hot, there you are,
a porcelain, plastic
paradise, waiting patiently
for my swift exit to
conclude within your liminal embrace.
When you’re in public, I
pray you hold no occupants
or invite no others in to
use you for less holy purposes.
Gross. At home, you
remain untouched and pure
as my ultimate space of comfort;
a dark, cool, quiet, temple
of toilet paper, towels, tile, and taps.
Hopefully, your walls bestow upon
my lungs and mind, desperate
for fresh, clean indoor air,
a window, or at the very least
proper ventilation.
Breathe with me.
You are both an ultimate
form of sensory deprivation and
proper stimulation simultaneously;
when each desired, you provide accordingly.
You’re the one place noises cannot penetrate,
nor music I need not to stimulate,
though you play it oft’ in public for the masses.
Your aura generated sublime,
unbound by rules or by time;
how grateful I am to be able to be
able to so easily connect with the
Divine.

Well, I’m done early, let’s write another,
this time a limerick; hope not too tricky.
It’s in iambic pentameter, too.
Is this a limerick? Uh, I think it is.
Well, let’s finish it off and then see.

Well, let’s be meta for a second, here.
This class, I’ve found myself struggling with poems,
so now, I possess a good deal of fear,
I’ve found it preferable to go home.
However, that’s simply just copping out,
and I know well: that’s no way to progress!
If I turn my head at that which I’m fraught, I won’t advance; I’ll regress… and forget.
To this thinking, I give a big “*******”,
in the great name of creativity.
I’m nearly done with this; isn’t that cool?
I’m overcoming this adversity!
See, that wasn’t so bad, was it, now, man?
You thought you couldn’t write sonnets; you can!

The thought of a café or club
both make my heart rate rise.
Or going to cafés and stores;
even sometimes just outside.

I’m tired of sitting, so lonely,
so sick of staying inside.
So tired of choosing to stare at screens,
but I’m afraid to experience life.

While it seems a good solution,
it just makes me more upset.
I crave to be there, mind devoid of fear;
it seems impossible, nonetheless.

Inside is comfortable, I can’t deny,
but crushing; keeps me up each night.
I could stay inside my cave all day,
‘cause I’m afraid to experience life.

I sit frozen on my floor,
stomach sour and mind awhirl.
My palms and feet are getting sweaty,
fingers pulling at my curls.

So, I study how to take control
of a mind in fight-or-flight.
It will still spiral at outings mentioned,
but I’ll work toward experiencing life.

“I sure am glad I joined a frat,”
I tell my friends and family.
From spending nights in solitude,
To being in community.

I once had dreamed of better bonds
With students at my school,
And now I’ve found some, oh, boy, have I;
My days and soul now oft’ refueled.

Fall me knew what things were best for him,
And so, he sought them out.
Those who I got close with I didn’t expect,
But adore and love learning about.

“I sure am glad I joined a frat,”
I once thought I’d never say.
But it’s true—more than you could know—
And a member I shall always stay.

Last fall, I wished to fulfill greater purpose;
One much grander than I had,
And after hours of serving those both near and far
I've more than found it, and I’m so glad.

Next semester and beyond, I’ll dedicate myself
Far more than what's allowed at this time.
I’ll pledge my time, energy, and maintain my health,
To secure the future of my kind.