I stand close enough
to taste the breath of a different life
not mine,  not his
but the one that lives in the space between
your eyes and mine.

your mouth
is a soft question
I’ve been pretending not to hear.

I love someone else.
I’ve carried him through every storm
wrapped his ache in silence
folded my needs into the corners of the bed
so he could sleep.

and he did
he did what he needed
and called it surviving
he chose himself
and I watched, breaking
quietly
with a smile

now Im here
caught in a moment that breathes too close
not touching,
but thinking too much about what it would mean
if I did.

its not desire that confuses me
its the part of me that wants to disappear
into someone who doesnt carry my history

I tell myself its nothing.
I tell myself its everything.

maybe I just want to know
who I am when I' m not choosing restraint

you look at me
like Im still soft,
like I haven’t been tired of choosing right
every **** time.

and maybe just once,
I want to choose the thing
that doesn’t make sense
the one that lives in the skin
not the spine
the one I keep dreaming of

just once
I want to taste the fire
without apologizing
for being cold.

I’ve been here before I know what you’ll say,
That it doesnt matter  you’ll find your way.
So I won’t repeat what you already know,
But I’ll go where you need, even if its slow.
I’ll get used to it, maybe become like you,
But until then, I think of us, its true.

When he arrived, his gaze sought only me,  
In this room, we danced through memories, wild and free.  
He,once unsure, now a pillar of strength,  
Lifted me gently, defying all length.  

With laughter and chaos strewn all around,  
He laid me on the table, where love could be found.  
Amidst the clutter, our hearts intertwined,  
In that sacred moment, all else was blind.  

Nothing else mattered, no trinkets or gold,  
Just the warmth of our presence, a story retold.  
In the mess of the world, we found our own space,  
Two souls in a whirlwind, lost in embrace.