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By day,
he was the man no one noticed —
mid-tier, mid-forties,
a name lost in office emails,
a shadow in his own home.
Reliable. Invisible.
Unseen.

By night,
he was a joke with teeth:
blurry selfies, skeleton emojis,
cheap spoopy laughter tossed
into glowing rooms of strangers.
And they laughed.
They saw him.
At last, they saw him.

She answered louder than the rest.
Younger,
lonely,
her laughter too quick,
her replies too fast.
She turned his irony into scripture.
She gave him back his own words.

But she wanted more.
“I know this isn’t really you,” she wrote.
“I don’t care.
I want the man under the mask.”

He recoiled.
Deleted.
Ghosted.
Told himself he was clever,
that the game was over.
But silence was only
the mask turning in her hands.

3:33 a.m.
The skeleton grin returned.
3:33 a.m.
Another account, another mask.
3:33 a.m.
Cheap plastic devotion
hammering against his glass.

Packages followed:
a skeleton hand clutching a note,
a pumpkin cracked open,
seeds spilled like offerings.
Her love became ritual.
His jokes became curses.

“You don’t get to leave,”
she told him at last.
“You owe me you.”

And he,
the man who wore masks to escape,
the man who wanted recognition
without the burden of being real,
fell into silence,
terrified to confess.
No one is innocent here.

Because she,
with nothing left to lose,
chose obsession.
Because he,
with everything to lose,
chose deception.

Now only one mask remains.
At the window crack,
plastic, absurd,
grinning in the dark.
Tilting, as if in recognition.

Spoopy.
Childish.
Unstoppable.

And he knows —
her mask will never come off.
By day he wore a face of stone,
a man at work, a man at home.
Mid-tier, mid-forties, fading fast,
a shadow built to never last.

Unseen, unseen, the hours crawled,
his name half-heard, his voice forestalled.
Reliable. Invisible.
Forgettable. Admissible.

But night —
night gave him another skin,
a grinning mask, a skeleton grin.
Blurry selfies, pumpkin puns,
cheap delights for midnight ones.

And they laughed.
They saw.
He mattered more
than the man he’d left behind the door.

She answered louder than the rest,
late-twenties, lonely, dispossessed.
Her laughter quick, replies too fast,
his irony returned as gospel, cast.

“I know this isn’t you,” she said.
“I want the man who hides instead.”

He recoiled.
Deleted.
Ghosted.
Fled.

But silence is a mask that turns,
and absence is a fire that burns.

3:33, the phone alight,
a skeleton meme each waiting night.
3:33, a plastic hand,
a note enclosed: You’ll understand.
3:33, the offering grows —
a pumpkin smashed, its seeds exposed.

Her love became a ritual rhyme,
his jokes became a curse in time.
“You don’t get to leave,” she swore,
“You owe me you, forevermore.”

And he —
the man who sought the crowd,
who wanted laughter, not too loud,
who craved the gaze but feared the weight,
found every mask could seal his fate.

No one is innocent here, no one.
Not the trickster, not the one undone.
He wore deception like a shield,
she made obsession her battlefield.

Now only one mask still remains —
cheap plastic grin through windowpanes.
Spoopy, childish, still, absurd,
yet sharper than his final word.

The curtains gap, the silence bends,
a tilted grin that never ends.
And he knows, beneath the grin so slight:
her mask will never leave the night.
Moon is silent,
The air’s humming
Around my ear.
Speaking straight
To the head,
The sky is crystal clear.

Mist in the grass.
Silence as every drop falls,
Moon's calm gaze,
A true beauty - my heart calls.

Seeking more
With my breath on hold.
More warmth and calmness,
A bond unknown but too bold.

Not fast,
This moment must pass slow.
For me to cherish this scene,
Making each moment glow.

A black floss rolled out,
Fading the milky light.
I walked away,
Admiring the last sight.
And the air was by my side....................
A blink of the eye
Flash of light, the thunder strikes
Rain and calm ripples
The silence after..............
In the Rhambangle, the climbing vines
looped themselves up and through the latticework
like emotions falling from a dream.

You loved the hour-bound birds who made their nests
in the high corners; feathered keepers
without ceremony, counters of our soft seconds and all the rest.

I liked your boots, especially tucked beneath a wicker chair
in the moonlight, lost to your feet
but called a curious thing by the avante garde among the moths of local wing.

I haven't said it well, I realize. My irises kept the words
after I first saw them in morning light.
It's a fool's errand, so they say, making these sounds no string nor key would own,

but I keep trying, because I love you down to the detail, the divinity, the dissonance, and the bone.
written 2016, extensively reworked 2025

"Rhambangle" is an invented word
Little fox,
I've come to confess to you

though I know your church is the chicken coop
and your Christ is appetite.

If there is mist up on the mountain,
it's my spirit wandering.

The rest of me kneels here,
before you in the brambles like an overturned cup.

Alone in my bed, I have wondered
why I hurt my lovers, why they hurt me,

but I think it's because
angels are so similar to layers

especially when a spray of white feathers
in the air is all that's left.

Little fox, here is my spirit
riding wrapped around your slender black feet.

Let's test our hearts and pull a wishbone--
you've got plenty cast aside.

If I win, I'll change my ways and skew to kind.
And if you win?

I'll call him, saying let's try again
knowing what will happen, and how sly my words have been.
2025

based in part on the Russian folk tale of the fox confessor
Every day is a struggle
I struggle to wake, to rise from bed,
To speak the thoughts that crowd my head.
I struggle to find hope on a warm summer day,
I struggle when the bright blue sky turns to gray.

I struggle just to survive,
A struggle in every minute, a struggle to stay alive.
I struggle to fit into these old jeans,
To lace the worn shoes of forgotten dreams.
I struggle to digest breakfast,
To trust the news that floods my mind.
I struggle to make ends meat,
While prices climb higher each day i find.
I struggle to accept that life passes here,
That moments I hold vanish too soon oh dear.

Oh, dear friend the struggle is real
The struggle to be me, the struggle to feel.
I walk this broken path,
Through fleeting moments that drift and some last.
I struggle to accept the now and future and past
I struggle to accept the choices not mine,
To taste joy while wealth remains to some like fine wine.

I struggle to believe in a God unseen,
To trust in a book, or the apple from the tree green.
I struggle to envision pearly golden gates,
To fear or not the fire that waits.
I struggle to believe that good conquers all,
When the rich rise higher and the poor scrape thin through it all.

I struggle to understand the birds and bees,
Why we cut down forests and poison the seas.
I struggle to believe in people like me,
In a world designed to cheat and deceive.
I struggle to find truth among daily lies,
To find life while the world chases my demise.

I struggle to accept love,
When loneliness has been my only friend.
I struggle to believe in forever,
When each day comes to a bitter end.

Oh, these struggles and struggles they drive me mad,
Each harsh reality leaves me broken and  sad.
In a world that should be simple, open and free,
I struggle, I struggle, just to be me.
22 September 2025
STRUGGLE
Copyright Malcolm Gladwin
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