I’m so afraid to transform
Away from what I know
Or what I think I know
Into something I don’t
Something foreign
I must protect
That for which is known
And has been known
For if I choose to dive in
If I choose to go where my body says yes but my mind says no
Who will I be?

Surely not who I think I am
So then why the distress?
Why the anxiety?
Mind aka the hesitation
Surely knows me best
But I know it doesn’t
So behind the mind I am
Feeling the hesitancy
…So the hesi isn’t me

I already am
And I have no definition
I cannot be defined
Because who I am isn’t known
It can’t be written down
It can’t be explained
There aren’t words
Because I can transform
I can shift
My reality alters into what intrigues my mind and thus my body needs
So holding onto a definition of me doesn’t make sense
*** it’s only 1 definition
In the midst of multiple definitions
It’s open ended
My definitions continue to come to fruition
I am the seed
Sprouting into the fruit
Becoming a tree
Becoming what it desires to become
There is no definition
To what I am
For I am what feels right to become
And what feels right has no label
No, those don’t feel right
Because labels mean definition
And I can’t be defined
I have physical characteristics
I have thoughts
I have morals
But I have no definition
I can’t be defined
Only refined
And I will re-find out my definition every time I allow myself to transform n fruition
That’s how I am then defined
Not by my past, ego-defined definition of myself
But by each step forward past that definition
I am re defined
And I grow
And I continue to grow
So my consciousness rises and rises far above my head for which it currently resides
Or hides
Or desires to get out of but is held back by that initial definition of myself

But who am I?
I can’t be defined
I can’t be explained
Well I can
But only by the most recent medium of growth I so choose to allow happen
So technically my definition is everything up to the present moment
We stay ahead of our definitions
It’s behind us
Holding us up
Like a wall
To fall back on if we need
But also to block us from creating a larger definition, a stronger wall
Yet it’s not really blocking us because it’s behind us

---The same thing that props us up is the same thing we choose to put in front of us and thus imaginarily holds us back---

There is nothing blocking us from going forward
It’s an open canvas
Blank space to create
The definition continues
Your wall gets stronger
It doesn’t stop at a certain point
…Well it can
If you let it
…But that means you stopped experiencing
You stopped experimenting
You stopped growing
And you can now be ultimately defined
Your chapter is over
You’ve become a word
Something with a definitive answer
Strictly defined
Easy to remember
A flash card of sorts
Easily memorized
Boring
Done

Don’t be done
Don’t become a word
Written over and done with
Tucked away
Redefine your definition
So you’re never done
You can never be written about and clearly defined
Until you physically are no longer here
Then when you are done here
Your definition is so long
Your definition is so hard to describe
You are no longer a word
But you are the dictionary

They will try to make you a word
Try to put you in a box
This is who you are
And if they know who you are
They can manipulate you
They can set laws to keep you you
They can create boundaries status quo’s and social norms to keep you you
Because the external world will change, and if you remain static, fixed within, if you remain in definition, you will stay inside the box for which the greater powers have created
*** when we are internally bound by definition, we too are bound by the definitions of society
And we can no longer enjoy the game
We succumb to the game
We succumb to the rules set on us
And when we succumb
We are controlled
We are no longer free

So do not succumb
Don’t be complacent
You are not bound
You cannot be defined
Only redefined  

Make them upset
Make them struggle
*** while they waste their time trying to define
You continue to redefine
And you stay ahead of the game
While the pons are chasing
Trying to keep up
*** now you’re not just playing the game, you’re winning