Wakanda4Ever
For being a realization of a place, we’ve only ever seen in our dreams
For depicting the diaspora
Pan-Africa, futurism for the first time on the big screen
Wakanda4Ever
For ameliorating images of the continent revealing its beauty without reservation, or subjugation
For pulling from African nations imbuing African culture without ominous purpose or evasion
Wakanda4Ever
For providing representation that politics and cinema often lack
Revealing that in 2018, a man can be king, world leader, and protector
At the same time 100% black
Wakanda4Ever

Following false shepherds like sheep
Wandering half asleep in my mind state
Depressed sinking to the depths of the sunken place
Blind confessions not knowing the next step
Soaking in the tears I wept
Feelings of shame and vulnerability
Sign of the stars falling I'm ******* me
With no shelter to cover me
Shutter shivering between the freezing anxiety and navigating this journey with a shattered compass

Despite yesterday's view
In retrospect my perspective was skewed
Imbued by necessity the obligatory nature of my being let me know by the time we got married what I felt for you wasn't love
In my head and in my heart I was in love with someone else
What I felt for you was something else
Worried about what people would think if I backed out and how I would be perceived if I Iet all the people we invited to wedding down
I feel you suspected my feelings of wanting out
So as the paint cracked
And the lies of the facade seeped out Doubt crept in
AND so begins a twisted malodorous case study
Where the relationship that once existed
The thing that brought life in this world
all remnants remembrances and everything that went along with it withered
All that remains is a child who's person and emotions are full of tread marks and darks stains
Along with a relationship with her father that's depriving
By a mother
Constantly striving to lessen the idea of what it means to have a  father
Sedating relational ambitions
Withholding notes and teachings
Exhibiting passive aggression so aggressively
that at 14
my daughter's subconscious tendencies of moments of directed  anger toward me
What I get see is a child with idea of what a Fathers means all I do
I recognize the end game for you was a subterfuge
After all these years in your fight against me
You used our daughter as a guillotine  
Over something that for a long time has been over
You win
It's obvious to me that the power she you over my daughter means I  won't have a true relationship with my babygirl until shes much, much older

I used to love you more than I imagined a broken man could love anyone
For a moment in my existence an armistice existed between my soul and palatable anger at the world
Self loathing that I became accustomed to living with for the first time
I wasn't abiding in a space where I was conquered by loneliness and millions of anxieties racing across my mind
In this uncharted territory I was frozen in time
intertwined with who I thought would be the love of my life
For the rest of my life
Surety filled me
We were beings
Two star crossed lovers intersecting perfectly
In that life
In that time
You couldn't tell me
I knew exactly how my future would turn out to be
So much so without knowing you fully
I jumped head first
20,000 leagues into a sea where longing to love and be loved by the one who I thought God made for me was finally within reach
The more that I locked in on the beauty of what was happening
I could feel myself absorbing you in
Obsessing abnormally desiring only to breathe you in was my life's mission
I could feel my insides churning turning my rationale inside out
But after all this time it hurts but feels right how things would ultimately turn out...

Split open my flesh
widen the space so you can speak  directly to my spirit
Let nothing stand between me and  your revelation
Awaken a newness let nothing come between us
There's a way in
whether through the front way or the back way
I desire to enter in and begin again

Eerily present her presence existed in the absence of her physical appearance
remnants of her energy had the ability and spirituality of loss and chaos
fear and anger reigned
brokenness rained
the atmosphere weathered with spirits old
so tangible you could hear them screaming screeching reaching out for the next victim
hate hidden in the cracks of old feelings and misguided memories demons dead wanting others to die to accompany them in deathly prison desiring the maxim for others to feel the pain to stain their  axiom
existing only for the mass disintegration generalization and death of tomorrow's hope and the future of the next generation

Commissioned was a system centered on putting young black men in the grave or the penal system
For a black mother what other decision has the impact
Of saving a young life on whom the odds are already stacked
In order to keep him or her off the wrong and on the right track

(Selah)

Either leave me and watch me die as the streets eat me alive
or the world splits me in half
The other option is to take hold of me, yell at me, and if you have too whoop my ***

There's a deeper place of self
A richer place than wealth
A place where one's inner pretenses and precepts are left
A place where the secrets of the soul are kept

Linked arm in arm like a knot
Whether we were play fighting
Or kicking at the spot
Playing ball getting girls or getting stopped by the cops
There was never a doubt about who had my back

For the sake of living I engage and socially interact
But the true and honest fact is that I
I've never had friends like the ones I had back when I just some kid on the block

I open my eyes and I see the sun
I awake and I feel life coursing through my veins
This is morning I feel lucky to have life
To take in the trees the wind
neither to shrink or fear
Power and love in my mind I feel
I am yours to do with me what you will
I need thee today to lead me and order my path
In my weakness I welcome your strength
With you I can do it
Without you there's balance I know I can through it
Existing without is chaos and malice
A man with no soul is as empty as a broken chalice

While the vultures pile in hostels and political houses
Dictators take hostages
Killing innocent people for millions of dollars and unlimited power

In Him
I'm closer to grace than I've ever been
I'm grateful sin doesn't control my life like it did back when
Before I found joy, found peace
Glory to the most high God who supplies my every need
From the pain I carried around my neck like a leash
To the pile of pride I was buried beneath
I questioned myself if I would ever be free
In him I know I’m no longer condemned
There is nothing to gain by being away from him
My life is empty being away from him
If you ask me who do I love most my answer is always Him

A fanatic
In its truest form
An addict who can’t overcome her demons the behemoth of being in love with addiction to crack
A ***** making scores of money for a manipulate
Who could care less if she ended up OD’d or in prison
Of her own volition giving her body to make an ingrate coin
A black woman, mother of two boys, a daughter and two others she can’t raise because she’s unemployed
Deemed unfit incapable of providing a healthy place for her children to be raised
I know this case because my mother adopted two of her sons so they wouldn’t become wards of the state
Beautiful kids with no idea of their biological aunt now adoptive mother did
They weren’t her problem but they were her family
And she just couldn’t sit idle while these innocent babies slid
She saved those boys is what she did
Imagine being 58 with grown kids
Now you’ve got one age seven ir eight and the other age 10
My mother
By no means a patron saint
But the mandate she willfully embraced
Carries with me to this day
It shows her growth as person and as a mother
Reflecting the need to live in service someone else
She depicts exactly what the bible says when it says despite everything love above all else

FB doesn't have a grave or a headstone
But its a blessing to have a place to go
And read a heartfelt post
Written like a decorated bouquet
And a well placed rose

She no longer has to fight
The long days and nights
Fighting pain that crippled and rippled through her
Life's riddles no longer confuse her
Transformation into knowledge everlasting a star ascending to glory
Existing in spirit watching down on the loved ones she left behind
Each one looking to the sky
Looking for guidance, calm, warmth
Some still acting like fools
Some using their God-given tools
All evolving as successes and failures in their own right
Heirs to nothing in the physical
Yet heirs to a birthright
Not a finite currency but a legacy
Eternally sprinkled about the brush
The love grandma gave us is on us to carry up
The climb is steep and the journey is long
But as our dearly departed sleeps
We have her spirit, memories, and teachings to keep us strong

"Dedicated to my grandma"

There a deeper place of self
A richer place than wealth
A place where the soul is kept
inept to pretense and precepts
Where being present is a gift

Blossoming where you're planted
Is rarely a vision upon which you planned it
When you're born you're handed a set of circumstances that marginalizes potential and positions self-doubt in your brain
listening to people complain about what they could've done had society given them a fair shake
Breed a ingrate who probably going to make the same mistake and breed negative feelings until it gestate a belief that you can't aspire or differentiate
Between a dreamer dream and a dreamers escape
Success is a gape
Built on the architects mind and a hustlers pace operating on a bridge holding together purpose and space
potential unfulfilled is waste
Of time and Gods creative
You don't  choose what era we live, out parents,
how much wealth you inherit
All you can do is use the vehicle God gave
Then use every advantage we can
To make something of our circumstances and be more

Morning Darling
I see you sleeping so calm
Your mane a flowing balm
Do I dare I disrupt your rest
The slight twinge of your hands cupped under your temple the covers pulled to your neck
As much as I want to whisper in your ear good morning
You deserve to dream
You deserve this time away from the noise and the stress
Accept this forehead kiss
A subtle reminder that back in the world your spirit is truly missed

In a socioeconomically stricken place like North Omaha
Where all we saw were dead end jobs and dead beat dads
It didn't become clear until I got older that despite all the noise and distractions
God had a plan
In the ghetto
There are so many unnatural things kids aren't supposed to see
But you and PT saw a need
Your effort of good deeds
Sowing seeds in the cement
Growing and developing young roses out of concrete
Through all these years it is and I am evident that the harvest you reaped was bountiful
What you were giving up or what you turned down to be with us I can't imagine
But what you did for us was beautiful
Joy freely given to poor black and white children alike
Neglected kids
I can tell you in all honestly there were times in our lives that no one offered more hope than the you of two did
You cared for us
Kept us
Sacrificed of yourself to set us up
You both put us on a positive productive path
All because you allowed yourselves to listen to and follow Gods plan
Because of that experience I understand the impact on one life I can have
No matter where we all are
You saved our lives
You well and faithfully gave us a chance at life
I stand now with your fully grown kids and say to the two of you
We honor you
And without our time with you way back when
There would be no way for us now
There would be no way for us to win

we.love.you.

Nakedly
Holding me
Knowing me
Like know one else knows the gaps and holes
In my character flaws
Deliberately, you embrace and accommodate them all
Who I AM
You accept it
With no prerequisite
I get to bend and sin
Fallback
Get up
And brush off the dust of my mistakes
Without being made to feel like an ingrate
You bring a grace and a headspace that provides me the space to calculate and learn
With you I don't feel alone
Like I'm just being tolerated or condoned
I feel like I'm with someone I can grow reap and sow
with whom I can dream dreams of incandescence
Holding hands with an angel staring far off in the distance
Watching river waves push against each other rippling through the gape
The infinity of space
And the hope of the vast beyond
So beautiful and great

Tell me every one of your issues
Lay them next to mine
I'll be your warmth for this cold world
I've got the medicine for your mind
All you have to do is yield your guard for a moment
and give in to the climb
Pressed up against you I'm getting hard
I
Can hear your heart beating see the sweat beading
Your tender knees trembling
In consent  I slip
My hands down your pants
Your head
leans back with your slightly opened eyes appearing closed almost
Your soft moaning only turns me onward commencing
Touching and teasing
Muscles clinching
Firm gripping I'm
Massaging and rubbing your ****
Circularly succulently ******* the taste of your juices off everyone of my fingertips
This is what's typically done
After a mental ****** and the ****** attraction of foreplay
It. Makes. You. ***.

... Selah ...

Sipping sweet melanin
Dripping off the lips of your *****
Bursting with ignition
The taste of your black...berry
Licking the overflow off your body
******* 'til spirits nod
'NAO' emanating from the iPod
Augmenting
Bending syncing your body with a mind despondent of time
No restrictions don't constrict
Just grab my **** and maneuver it like a guided ship
With the lights off find the throbbing swollen slit and put the head in
And dip the tip of my **** inside your ***** far afield
Only yield after you've had enough
But not until I'm deep enough...To Fill You Up

Tripping backflipping slipping down a mudslide headfirst thirsting for a concert of conversions some type of diversion from the immersion of quipping and nervous head spinning
My headspace races yonder
I ponder walking for miles deep
Thinking how I can make things better for all of us
The fussing and fighting constant bickering bitterness lingers from ancient arguments and disputes that never got any resolution

With a degree comes prestige
Pride in being accomplished
Enlisted in honors
Anointed by something not inherently gifted
A letter of distinction
Between the educated and uninitiated
A separation from mediocrity and something more
I don't have the mind of a socrates
But I refuse to be a reflection of the same old me
That's insane to me

The truth behind white lies is a disguise to breed pretense
Facts dismissed withered by slick tongues and slithering souls akin to black crows journeying far to cover the coming of winter

After a hard day's work proving my worth to the world
I find escape in the night knowing when I get off everything's going to be alright
When I'm with you I'm not burdened by the unrealistic expectations and impracticality
I can breathe easy because when I turn that key and open that door I'm home
Vulnerable to the world I'm naked
But when I'm with you I'm covered and clothed
I'm whole
I couldn't ask for a more perfect mate to connect my soul (slight pause) too
The weight of the world is a cross worth bearing
Only because I'm coming home to you

Its getting harder for me to run
Knowing full well what you gave
the sacrifice of your Son
Knowing this selfless offering
Softens my heart
I hear you why can I can't a small change
For never giving up on me and for the sake and gravity of your grace
As best as I know how I offer up this sonnet of thanks

I'd give up everything
For a chance to worship the King
In the spirit of Ghandi and Martin Luther King
I beckon my soul say let freedom ring
From the top of my head to every inch of my being

I cherished you so much I married you
Every day I wake up next to you I reaffirm my commitment to you
I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Five years later I still do

I can write anywhere my heart and mind combine to find inspiration to write words that create manifestations that measure the pain and pleasure that inhabits the universe
Sometimes thoughts come one at a time
other times at the same time for instance instantaneously I find myself drifting through thoughts and ideas in and outside of my mind
Sometimes the verses take time
Thoughtful lines that describe hurt souls that cry out
My job as a poet is to find out how to embrace and circulate my compass
as God as my witness and his spirit as my guide
the morality by which my life is defined the centrality of my truth is biased on societal and psychological constructs but isn't governed by society's will to place on my shoulders a slave mentality I walk in hand with those who like me rely on knowledge and experience as a whole a stepping stone
Realizing that being grown isn't a description of the physiological it's handling your business as a leader a husband a father and son

Self infliction locked behind the doors of self-oppression
We trick ourselves into believing we cant leave our upbringings
We dream but we're too afraid to chase

I died last night heaven existed in a world that treasures the upside down
Axiom, I am living outside of my body experiencing living for the first time
Wrapped in a love that hypnotized my mind I'm flying paralyzed when I'm inside
of you
The depth of life become depthless
Drowning deep in your abyss overflows my cup
We sup drinking from the fountain of youth
Revitalized, tasting and touching you
Wanting nothing more than to build on an affirmation with you
The road won't always be smooth
But I promise you
Through tumultuous times I will brave turbulence alongside you
As I will in valleys wide
a sublime future indeed we will surely reside
by and by trouble won't last
It too shall pass
And just as I will write finding wrongs to right  
I promise you everything will be alright

As I watch my sister and brother in law unite in holy matrimony
I clap and smile through their ceremony with feelings so phony I can't believe I agree to attend  
In this gorgeous dress and these high heels going through the motions i can honestly say I'm even not here
As my sister walks down the aisle I clutch this bouquet of real flowers with a fake smile praying for my pain to sway
While everyone is danicing I'm praying for the wrench in my stomach to go away...

Last week you died and the realization that for seven days I still have yet to accept the truth is daunting
The ghost of what if I woulnt have let you drive haunts me
My eyes watering to the tears are heavy and my heart wrenches when I think about an unfortunate unintended incident that took the life of my best friend
I want to know why your life ended
But as time passes and I begin to process its gravity
I gravitate to what awaits a fate of healing begins
I know I need time for my heart mend
to allow me to forgive
I can't even recall my last thought before all the fog let  in...

Sweetheart what you gave me
You and your brother you saved me
And now that you're gone a part of me died too
And it's only thinking that youd want me to to on
Is how Air see my way through

In the recesses of my intellect
I possess all the changing seasons
The fallen leaves
Yesterdays memories
The gold mine of ignorance and naivety
The idea that out there in the expanse exists a far off potential
A potential I could grasp
A potential that was attainable despite the perils of my upbringing  
The fragility of those days gone by
Have become myths and stories in my own mind
Held together with the weary tape of an abused mentality
Due to the inertia and desire to remember how life was...

I'm mesmerized by what happened to the potentiality of our lives
And how it became comprised by complacency
Lazily dreamers egos age like worn clothes
Enclosed with institutionalized ethos where growth begins and ends with the inerrancy and arrogance of the ghetto

Childlike imagining
Visions of cotton candy
Looking to the clouds
No wrong just right
Nose wide open fill with sweet smells
Her hair her smile
Day dreams and romance
The two of you together
Unsevered
Connected forever

Concepts explained
Simplicity attained
Wayside out of mind
Insight
One psychology
Emphatic satisfaction

Thoughts provoke verbal aesthetics to self-proclaimed victims of the poetic
Taking meaning out of past moments
Learning from circumstances past the point in which they last occurred
Just because I write the words doesn't mean I live everything I scribe on the page
I have the gift to 'feel' so everything I write is the extent of my artistic range
I consider myself a painter for today's age
An oracle of sorts, a seer, a sage
I birth pictures that encompass everything you can think of from romance to pain
One glimpse into the expanse of my mind
Is like seeing the world from the sky
I'm a thinker
And as a believer
I write these scripts to help me see through God's eyes

Hands raised or placed in pockets
Is the black skin or the media chagrin
That makes a black men thugs and threatens societal authoritiarians

when a mistake was made that wasn't meant,
When intentions were met with dogma and close mindedness,
The mindset of strength you need to have when someone doubts you and your capabilities,
When you doubt yourself,
When the overwhelming emotion of doubt and pity, negative energy that usually brings you down surrounds your spirit and mind
Knowing perfection is unattainable and the world doesn't end because you forgot a thing or two,
Truth helps you begin anew
Truth says no matter what someone else speaks, you reap the everlasting grace of The Most High
And despite how hard life gets
learning to shrug things off is wise
Learning from errors, admitting wrong
Humbling yourself without losing love of self

A stacked life with the odds of the world against us
All the fuss over black lives matter is a matter of centuries of pent up frustration
Never mind the enslavement of our ancestors incarceration and prison yard gestations
I'm talking specifically about the manifestation of police brutality
A reality for black men and women who are seen as inhuman to certain police officers who have absorbed the institutionalized propaganda that says
black people
By virtue of being black are more dangerous and prone to attack, stealing, and committing violent offenses
This ignorant antiquated pervasive programming has convinced many police to see black people
and register in their senses a sense of threat and imminent danger
In a nation of immigrants, the only section of the population profiled and killed at this rate are the same people who have been brutalized for the better part of this nations history
And for what reason, what cause is there to be so afraid of the African American
A member of the human race who was kidnapped
beaten
*****
chained
enslaved
rip from their ancestry
hung
deprived
stripped of  humanity
brainwashed
so much so that our baby's are programmed to **** each other
So what cause is there to be so afraid of the African American
Perhaps the fear of retaliation
From a people wanting to aim
and inflict pain on those who took their very fiber
who's ire burns with a desire to see how it feels to be on the other side of power
But the truth is
no weapon can undo what's been done
The only thing that can belittle hatred is the unshackled
unbridled
emancipation
of love

Liberator, liberate us from this unjust justice system
built on incarceration and cynics
mental prisms built like prisons
in the mind of so many of mankind
that thrives on the pain of the deprived and socially unequivocal
political nonsense
common sense is irrational
it's fashionable to agree with initiatives like H8
But hesitate when the circulation of hate toward blacks is tangible and so great
people see injustice and just turn away
yet they'll rally and support a LGBT mandate
now this is not to degrade or throw shade
but if I have to invade the space of the comfortable
and ruffle things up a bit
maybe I have a chance at confronting you cowards and hypocrites
who politicize equal rights but care nothing about it
you
who only want equal rights for a few
for you and people who look like you
but not for me and millions of black Americans
whose ancestry built this country
surviving while black in a country where every man is supposed to be free in an equal and cherished society

Rainy days have followed
Since you passed in the night
We pray for your soul continually
As you enter into His light

Its unbelievable
That a human being could be so evil
As is the ideal
Of advocating for no ramifications zero consequences
Absolutely no justice for the victim
Remains legal

I open my eyes to the sun
Awake
Full of rest I feel life pulsating through my veins
On this morning I feel exuberance in my hands
I feel powerful
Love in my mind I feel peace
A greater purpose for my life
I have found it
Again I say to you all
I have found peace

The longer you see your way past those not-so-easy seasons
You and her will begin to form a language only the two you
can speak in
Verbal and non-verbal speech
Built on years of witnessing nuanced mannerisms
Optimistic and pessimistic rhythms
Built in the still conversations, volcanic eruptions, and joyful make-ups
The stuff lending itself to growth and never-ending levels of trust
Reveals a renewed commitment to the union
A vision that informs the reason you both got married in the first place
Sets the stage for the spirit of God to cover you and make its way near
With the ease of a mellow wind
Whispers in your ear
Where your heart lies there your treasure remains
Also. called. reciprocity
And its commands you to love one another for the rest of your days

Sometimes you can get so high on possibility
That reality becomes imaginary
Plans predicated on what could be
Are as superficial as dreams when we sleep
You’ve heard the saying
Don’t count your eggs before they've grown
If you don't then you'll watch as the repo man arrives
And detaches all your belongings from your home

We've been together a long time
A long wind
Down the slippery, trippy side of life
Time took long enough
For us
To touch and touch again
Sleeping in 'till the sun passes the torch to the moon
As soon as you're ready to touch again
I'm prepped for the race
With a yurning to taste
The trickle of rain dripping slowly between your waist

Planted in my own space
No time stamp  
Exiting pretending
Eliminating ribbing and quick witting
Sitting waiting no more
To banter back and forth
Alone you're just you
No guilt in liking you
Or the things you like
You can embrace
Self-acceptance
The tiny bit of innocence you still hold
Scoop, bottle, and carry it
Your opinion is valid your thoughts aligned
When I'm by myself I close my ears and open my mind
And choose to listen to my me and never adhere to the voices outside

When I was young TV was my way away
Raised in a ****** environment
It provided me with viable escapes
Vacay
It put me in a much needed headspace where I could anything
It showed me
That I didn't have to be what I saw everyday