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Jun 2017
I used to love you more than I imagined a broken man could love anyone
For a moment in my existence an armistice existed between my soul and palatable anger at the world
Self loathing that I became accustomed to living with for the first time
I wasn't abiding in a space where I was conquered by loneliness and millions of anxieties racing across my mind
In this uncharted territory I was frozen in time
intertwined with who I thought would be the love of my life
For the rest of my life
Surety filled me
We were beings
Two star crossed lovers intersecting perfectly
In that life
In that time
You couldn't tell me
I knew exactly how my future would turn out to be
So much so without knowing you fully
I jumped head first
20,000 leagues into a sea where longing to love and be loved by the one who I thought God made for me was finally within reach
The more that I locked in on the beauty of what was happening
I could feel myself absorbing you in
Obsessing abnormally desiring only to breathe you in was my life's mission
I could feel my insides churning turning my rationale inside out
But after all this time it hurts but feels right how things would ultimately turn out...
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