i_macleod

36/M/uk preston lancashire Stuck in a cycle of wanting to be better, wanting more for My partner( long distance) 4 children 2 jobs, no sleep , alcohol to numb pain while keeping it all a secret which forces long smiles over mind numbing pain.

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lovewilldaytimesecondsfearstaceybetterfeelsleepsmilerevengesunlongdreamwakeairfeltdistancesmilescravelightmorningheartcolddoorinsidehourdeathheaddrinkhearturnwallsstuckhitsweekwaiteyeslatethingskeephappyyearsnighthitcrybreathrollplaceeyeworryminutesstarefightpulsemonthskissforgotweeksmoviesgazeretreatpeoplearmschangeearlythoughtsevilsmokeinflictedspeakloverssmellbeatsweetportugallifepainfeelingscomingreachhangingdaysmoneysighhugsbarelyflamesmileswideforeverhandhuggingtasteholdhandstilllaughtertodaythingmilesoundprayblessedhurtsoundsmidstpricecriticpillsamendsfilmsuicidescenebrainnervesglimmernoisesdadspairpassdelightfulsweatswhiskeyabsurddecemberhatersmoothbayglassesblackpillowfeelingpresuremuggydeepfriendlyrushfacestepenjoylightsstrangewantedwindingbedreapeatpunishholds