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you always distance yourself, and I've always told myself that I'm never going to put myself through hell to be in the middle of dating and friends but we both made sacrifices now

how can you say goodbye to someone who knows your body and your mind inside and out, who knows what to do and what to say and what to touch and what to make you feel so that you're on cloud nine all the ******* time

this is a letter to you to tell you don't stop - don't stop touching, don't stop caring, don't stop *******, don't stop wanting

**** the emotions are so rough but the *** is so fine, baby I can't let go this time
maybe you fell in love with my smile first even though I hate it, because when you told me I was beautiful it was the first time I smiled in a long time

and maybe you fell in love with my eyes next, because they're a new level of intensity - a new level of madness

and maybe you fell in love with my words last, because those late night whispers were just what you needed when your world was crashing down before you

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maybe you started to hate my laugh first, because you realized most of the time it's fake and I'm not the happy person you need

maybe you began to let go of my hair next, because th knots tied too thickly around your fingers and that's not romantic, that's not ****

maybe you slowly started to despise my words later, because you began to let go of romantic gestures and left me alone to utter my poems in the dark

love changes


you're changing
pieces of you are sprinkled around my day and the small parts paint a mosaic that by the end of the night reminds me of you - i remember all the details

it's hard not to think of your body pressed against mine in this heat because it's the same sun that made us sweat together and it's the same moon that watched us love each other more than ever before and i don't know what's worse, not seeing you or not hearing you

all i want is for you to be near me because your hug burns deep within my skin and before i know it my skin smells of you and my hair locks in brown strings the aroma of your clean shirt and your cologne

maybe this is what love feels like - maybe love is when i'm at th beach for a week and everyday i keep thinking how much i miss you, maybe love is how well i know your smile to the point where i'm down and picture it i smile, maybe love is how my lips know yours better than anyone else's, maybe love is when i sit down and write poem after poem after poem about you because it's a love so deep only ink on paper can understand
the look in your eyes is poetry enough because when I see them I don't see beauty or the galaxy but a lack of sleep and a constant desire

when your hands hold me I feel electrified, I feel like you're an open flame and I'm getting burned with every touch but if that's what burning alive feels like then I am no longer afraid to die

when you whisper in my ear you push away my hair and my neck already moved up, a constant muscle memory forming between your lips and the space rift under my right ear

when you roll your head back and drop the cigarette you make me feel like a queen because ****** nicotine cannot be better than this and your actions show it and I want to be the replacement for nicotine as long as we're together because that **** will **** you and I don't want you to die right now

**** baby I love you, but it's a new kind of love - it's a drop clothes stark naked kind of love, it's an animal love, it's a hand prints on body kind of love, it's a first we strip then we cuddle kind of love, it's a passionate kind of love, it's an I'll act like a child just so I can tease you kind of love, it's a I want to show the world you're mine kind of love,  it's the kind of love that is going to k i l l  m e
falling in love is easy, it's painless and effortless and it's a huge swoop and before you know it you're on the ground but you're with them and you don't care about anything else in the world except being with them and seeing them

falling out of love is hard, it's painful and takes a load of effort and it's gradual and no matter how hard you try a bit of them always remains in the memory file of your brain, rusting with the lock on it until one day you smell his cologne and that file opens and memories rush back, years later

falling in love with someone who doesn't love you as much as you love them is even harder, it's a hiatus of love and when you're with them you think that it'll be okay and they love you too but when you're away from them you realize they don't need you as much as you need them and maybe they're distancing themselves for their own benefit but you can't afford to bring that up to debate right now because god knows you don't want to lose what you already have

maybe the worst thing of all is waiting for it to end, being in love but knowing that one day you'll have your heart broken once again because the tides of the relationship have changed the current and now it's against you, pushing you away
and I'm avoiding the shower all day because your scent lingers in my hair and I don't want it to stop
have you ever taken a teabag out of water after its stayed there for a while, and it's drenched and soggy and not the same as the way you put it in? when I'm with you it's like that, it's like you're the water and I'm the teabag and I feel so full when I'm with you and I feel like everything I need is in front of me but when you leave I'm left with all the **** I carried to be with you and then some

when I look at the stars I realize that you're in the same city looking at the same ones too, and those were the same ones that were there when I cried and when we kissed and when I realized what it means for someone to find constellations on your body in places never before discovered, in a canvas of a sky that with every touch seems finger painted

god guys, love ******* *****, it's like a sour sweet candy but you taste the sour when you're away from them and the sweet when you're together and all the while you're wondering what candy they're having and if they ever turn back to sweet when you're apart or if they taste sour the whole way too and thoughts like that ****

it's like your old childhood blanket when you didn't want it to go in the washer and so your mom had to take it from you when you were asleep, but in this case it's a real tangible person who knows your secrets and the way to access all of you wholly completely and utterly and it's someone you can't handle being away from even when you see them hours before

they say that the affect of love on the body activates the same chemicals as ******* does and maybe that explains a lot about how I feel because addicted doesn't begin to describe it and i guess what I need is validation but I can't even validate my own actions let alone yours

I hope that I will see your lips, I hope we'll hug again, I hope you won't become a dream, and I hope that I'll learn to live even without you three miles away
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