the stereotypical way
of a girl or a guy falling in love

is a boy whispering sweet lies
because a girl likes what she hears
and a girl dressing up or down
because a boy likes what he sees

but between you and I,
the boy and the girl,
I was the one speaking words
and you were the one with visuals
I was the one who fell in love
and you were the one who never felt the same

Convulsed, Antagonized and Exasperated!

That your drive, your will has been amputated!
I told you tomorrow, We'll start anew,
Its not been tough to just get through,
To just get by, to just live life,
Its easier to lie, to live without strife,
Your a hollow shell built by your own insistence!
A putrid scab of your former existence!
Your not worth it! your not worth the air!
How can you breathe! how can you bare!
To look at life with such vaulted illusion!
You've left me in such utter confusion!
I don’t know how you are so angry,
After all, it was your absence that made me,
No ones here to help hold me up,
No one here, I’ve ran out of luck,
So ill just sit back, let life run its course,
Just let go, ignore the remorse,
I’m done, its time to take action!
This is over, **** your satisfaction!
She held your hand! a visage of hope!
He held you up! He helped you to cope!
They looked at you! a look so beguiled!
Mother and father! look straight at their child!
Don’t bring that up, Its not even fair,
Its such a lie, that they ever cared,
I’m all alone that’s the way it should be,
So walk away and let me be me,
So sorry for yourself when its others you hurt!
Your personality shall break unless you now reassert!
The tears from your mother should bring you such pain!
Your joy ride is over! its time for my REIGN!
ILL BE SCRATCHING AND SCREAMING AND GASPING FOR AIR!
MY WILL REMAINS UNBROKEN, THIS IS OVER I SWEAR!
THIS CHANGE YOU'LL SEE, IT WILL BE SO UNTYPICAL!
THIS CHANGE IN ME! THIS CHANGE WILL BE BIBLICAL!

The typical boy,

In his typical life,

Was a Typical toy,

With a typical knife,

It was a typical day,

With a typical start,

But this typical day,

Ended in an untypical way.

Touch space and time
With my fingertips
The ambiance carries me on a wave
Echoing vibrations crawl up my vertebrae

This music is untypical
Just take a sip of it
It's better than your daily drug
It's a kaleidoscopic hug
Increasing dopamine
Close your eyes,
This experience is unlike anything you've ever seen.

Take my hand,
We'll dance on top of this barren land
And give it life *again

after the twenty-2nd
day, some things
came to be.

he was reckless,
heartless,
stupid,
yet caring.

he says rumors
weren't true,
that he has no one
"but i HAD you."

he says stories
weren't necessary,
that he was innocent
and he was pure.

he says it's not
like that, nor
like "this,"
that he was in
deep solitude
and no more
them's and you's.

the rumored newest
was a friend,
so sweet and lovely,
innocent and God-sent,
light and less fluffy,
tanned and less lonely?
no, less happy,
trying and striving.

she:
i didn't want to
dark-mind.
i didn't want to
self-harm.
yet, his words
contradict
what he does.
then...

endless trades of words,
of hurts, of trusts,
of pains,
rushed through
their typically untypical
veins.

murmurs  weren't true.

"not all you see is true."

why can't everything
be innitiated?
given at free will?
said with genuinity?
and done
with no rules,
no biases,
no implied philosopies,
no more laws?
as the sun sets,
from last eleventh,
she had begun
to be in deep
slumber,
she had been
lesser frustrated,
lesser stressed.

There was a time in Ireland
prior to my departure, some
forty + years ago, when we
used the title term to describe
people of whom we knew
nothing about, nor from where
the hailed.

" I met a stranger today in the pub "

" Who was that stranger you spoke to "

" He drinks wine and talks like a stranger "

Now, I know what it must have felt like for
all of the above, because I don't go to pubs.

I hardly know anyone anymore, so conversation
is limited ie talking to myself.

I smell of garlic and my car is a French Reg left
hand drive.

Mind you, was I ever the antonym of strange ?

                                   <>
Strange : adjective
Bizarre, weird, uncanny, queer, unexpected, unfamiliar, abnormal, atypical, anomalous, untypical, different, out of the ordinary, out of the way, extraordinary, remarkable, puzzling, mystifying, mysterious, perplexing, baffling, unaccountable, inexplicable, incongruous, uncommon, irregular, singular, deviant, aberrant, freak, freakish, surreal; suspicious, dubious, questionable; eerie, unnatural; Frenchoutré; Scottish unco; informal fishy, creepy, spooky; Brit. informal ***; N. Amer. informal bizarro. ANTONYMS ordinary, usual.

Fear of everything
Fear of nothing
To say I’m on the fence I’d be bluffing
Maybe I should let it go entirely in its fullness
And not have a type to rule with
I wanna break down and cry
If I tried to express it to someone they’d look at me in confusion and wonder why
People see my emotions
Cause I wear them on a sleeve
And one gaze of my eyes makes the notion simple to receive
I hate my self sabotage
No matter how I go about it with my old tactics I try to dodge
It’s so hard to let anyone in
To let anyone know
And the reason I am the way I am now
Cause I never open up which leaves no room to grow
I scared to take next steps but I don’t know how to say
I’m scared to show affection besides just saying I care only to end up feeling a way
I’m terrified to let someone love me let alone like me
I’ll always find a way to **** yo the situation
And then end up with feelings of invalidation
Praying no one walks in to catch me with my head down
And my eyes low which to others is worst than I frown
I wish I brought my sidekick the ones who never let me down
The perks the Xans the oxys the drift me to a place of no sound
No frown
No fervor on the ground
If you could hear a heart break
How loud would you have ached
How SHOOKEn would the surrounding party be out of their state
How would I soothe knowing it’s too late
I’m sick
but you know you knew
The things you think are only in your head
Do become true
As if you could ever be that important
A untypical mess is your assortment
You never give anyone the space you see you any more than difficult
Love to you the creature is mythical

What are you sorry for
Why do you apologize
It’s not like you’ll see me cry
Just the disconnected look in my eyes
Open for all to get it off your chest
In which you’ll never understand my distress
It takes so long to let go what I feel for a person
The more I see you or the more I go without it tends to worsen
Of how I see you and cherish the moment
And think of the moment as if I could own it
Of me being open to you
Of me being vulnerable instead of blue
Of all the time I wish we could spend
But it’s my fault this is in the state it’s in

Here we go again
A cycle that at this point has to be a type of emotional sin
As my sub conscious can’t seem to let go
This the part right here we hate the most
As we say different person same reaction
It hits the most when in the stage of retraction
Myself to blame can’t I control my actions

Self sabotage
In each situation no matter how I dodge
With the invalidation of my feelings
And no one knowing truly how I’m dealing
Because I can’t articulate my words
And speak them in ways that can be simply heard
All I can do is harbor on them
And bring them to the brim
Of what it’s intended to mean
It’s not what it seems
On the fence off the fence
Sometimes in between
I want you but certain things turn me away
Certain things that bring my past at bay
It’s impossible for you to look at me separate from body
And to be in my chest everyone looks at me oddly
But no one understands
And I want you to understand
No one just wants me learn me a person
And the more I try to explain the more the words worsen
Because I know that not the case
Always think of the things you say
The good the bad and how I over think them anyway

Standing proudly now in his
purple silk-dress, tall
and lifting
the sky on his back
come on,
he says
I think I am allowed
what an untypical sight he makes;
that proud face lacking
all signs of arrogance

Stranger.

Unusual, odd, curious, peculiar, funny, bizarre, weird, uncanny, queer, unexpected, unfamiliar, abnormal, atypical, anomalous, untypical, different, out of the ordinary, out of the way, extraordinary, remarkable, puzzling, mystifying, mysterious, perplexing, baffling, unaccountable, inexplicable, incongruous, uncommon, irregular, singular, deviant, aberrant, freak, freakish, surreal; suspicious, dubious, questionable; eerie, unnatural;

Parochial.

Narrow-minded, small-minded, provincial, insular, narrow, small-town, inward-looking, limited, restricted, localist, conservative, conventional, short-sighted, petty, close-minded, blinkered, myopic, introverted, illiberal, hidebound, intolerant;

(Parental Guidance 16).

She modified one of those
droplet sensitive windscreen
motors, attached a ***** to the
shaft, lay back, spread her legs,
looked to the heavens and in
an untypical Irish fashion, she
could be heard praying for rain.

P.s.

If she was smart, she would
have connected the washer!