Get a job,
a husband or wife.
Make yourself comfortable
in your own life.
So they tell me
or would have told me
if they were still alive.
But they are dying slowly
by the magic pills.
They are no longer there
to protect and care.
I no longer have devils
that whisper and scream.
They can do both
but now they are doing non.
And I can see myself having fun,
not caring or staring
into nothingness.
Yet it leaves me in mourning
to know they are about to die.
Maybe if I hold on a little longer
I won't be lonely and then find myself
a job, husband or wife.

What is wrong in being a normal person?
What is bad in being in the 99%?
Sure, it’s always shown,
How nice it should feel,
To be at the top, amongst the best.
But not everyone can get there,
It’s not a boulevard, a large square.
I’m sure I could live well,
Being in the middle,
Maybe I will have to work a lot
But the living will be enjoyable.
What is bad in being ordinary?
If I can live a life worth living,
That should be enough for me.
I would thrive, and be glad.

What is real, what is fake?
How should I handle this,
When you don't know what to believe ,
When you're reality breaks?

What you thought to be
Is so different from what actually is.
What you were taught about life ,
Now seems so different from what you see with your own eyes

Sometimes I want to stop thinking
I'm becoming afraid of my own mind,
It's potential for reasoning and overthinking
And always it goes down a dark path.

I just hope I can find answers,
Or maybe the answers aren't what I want.