Hey ***,

Theres something I need to tell you -
That the thought of you is the first to
Sing through the stage of my mind
Every morning, reverberating through
consciousness, permeating my dreams -
And though it may not seem
That my longing for you
Could be of that capacity, I
Wanted you to know that
Not a second passes where you
Arent present in my thoughts.

Sayang,
Theres something I need to tell you -
That I look forward to every text and call
Even if they are few and far apart
Good or bad, even mundane
I still cherish them all,
I keep your words somewhere deep
Within my soul
Words are all I have of you
Right now

Sweetheart,
Theres something special I feel for you -
An emotion I can't pen
Its like love and longing and
Hope for that moment
Where we'll see each other again,
Where we can be together in the end
I can't tell you how much you mean to me,
For words are not enough
But still the thought of that glimmer in your eyes
And your head resting upon my chest
Is the moment I replay every day

And though I am far away

Theres something I need to tell you-
I'm waiting for a time that will
Let me be with you again
Im waiting for that smile,
The one that never ends.

Nothing scares me more than the thought
That I can become lesser
To someone who once loved me in entirety

What if my insecurity that she always helps to quell
Becomes a burden in her every day
What if the creativity
That she once saw in my every song
And poem
Becomes nothing more than another word
Carelessly placed

What if my once compelling conversational topics
Become but an obligation to reply
What if the things that hold us together
Right now
Are made nonexistent
And my words don't flow like they used to,
That my voice doesn't sing as well as it should do

Nothing scares me more

My inability to take a step back and stay calm
My perpetual insecurity and need for assurance
My incapacity to overlook the things that don't matter

I'm being pessimistic because I know she loves me
But I can't shake off the thought that
Everything she now knows about me
Has already begun to seem unappealing

The thought that the spark we set alight
Could have already begun to burn out
Because people fall out of love
For the same reasons they fell in it

I get upset over the wrong things.
I lose track of what is important.
I forget what my goals are.
I forget what I'm building and
With whom I'm building it with.
I let myself go to irrationality,
I hurt those I never wanted to.

This is a time of growth.
In progression I have found myself
Through the timid F chord,
The hopeful G,
The potentially glorious A minor,
And now I am at E.

It is a lonely night here,
As with all nights I have witnessed in Sydney.
The cold licks at my feet the same way
My cat back home used to with my hands.
I miss the warmth of a Malaysian day,
A steady flow of vape clouds and gaming
To which there was no end.
The course I've taken upon myself
does it's job at making me feel that
My intellect is inadequate -
A days worth of reading and
Nothing has been retained.
The notes I have penned have
Seemingly done me no good.

I'm afraid of many things -
And fear seems to be a mistress
To me lately. She curls up next to me
As I try to slip into slumber,
Whispers words of regret in ever
Leaving and runs her fingers
Through my hair, as a glimpse of she
Who I had come to love
Crosses my mind.
Forever longing to be with her,
The one soul I cannot have right now,
The one smile and laugh and voice and kiss
That I cannot bear to be away from,
Is the only one I ever think about.

I have made myself so miserable
Through the irony that is my decisions.

I miss her and a part of me hopes in entirety that the coming months go past as fast as they can.

I can't even write properly. My heart is in a different continent.

I don't have a lot left to say.
My poetic battery is all but spent.
I leave this place with hopes that I make something of myself.
The path I will take is long and winding.
Over the last few months I have made invaluable bonds with people I did not know could impact my life with a magnitude in which they did. I met musicians who pushed my work to become so much more than I could have ever hoped to achieve on my own. I lost a few friends, I strained a few relationships.
I found love in the form of a soul that mirrored mine - the mirror in which I saw this reflection bore the image of someone I'd want to be with no matter where or how. Nothing will stop me from  ensuring the continuity of the feelings we have for each other. The spark burns bright. I will not let it reduce itself to a wisp of smoke.

Batrisyia,

I know you'll read this at some point. I know I've already written you a letter. And I know there will be times when my words are not enough - but words will be all that we have to rely on for the coming months. I need you to know now that I will always have time for you. We will game every night and joke and laugh and make ******* noises over whatever platform we choose to communicate through.

I know this will be tough, but if it were easy then there would be no accomplishment in it. You and I meld together without effort. We fight sometimes but we can never stay mad at each other. In the end, when all is said and done, I will always see you for the vibrant soul you are. Nothing that happens could possibly make you lesser in my eyes.

What is 2 years compared to 3 lifetimes?

We will find out for ourselves.

I love you.

- Aidan

The currents of time begin to coil,
Pulling me within its currents.
The days count down -
Ten days, nine days, eight
The thought in which I contemplate
In how many instances have I made her wait?
Is it not linear, this sense of becoming?
Am I not being but once per second
Do I exist past where my physicality
Persists?
Time is running out.
The sifting sands of the hourglass reduce
From the vast expanse of the hour hand
To but grains and pebbles of
A dimension I cannot mend,
One of which I can only spend,
With her, I wanted to
Of all the things with which
I imagine I'd be able to share with her
Time is but the only thing that
Disappears
It was meant to be wasted away with her.

Ive spent years trying to escape your clutches.
You always seem to find your way back into my life.
Leave me alone.
Let me be happy.