echoing laughter emanates through empty tunnels
hidden from that safe red street lamp glow;
and I quietly notice how I am always a shadow
in the trees that move in the wind as they’re changed by the season.

A collection of lost souls I nurture and hold as I rock myself to sleep
And I can’t cry for them
any more than I can  for myself.

The silent, gentle suffocation
which squeezes the breath from my lungs
snuffing out the candles
I meticulously lit on my way to my room.
It’s still and dark and creeping
and I feel the energy to smile slip away as I talk

Just as quickly as the uncertainty
which shuffles in uninvited
and steals the silverware from the kitchen.

An audience applauding the self deprecation Muffling the screams for help
As i’m invited to their table
but never quite loud enough to shout above the off stage rumble.

brain zaps, brain fog
welcome to Zoloft
refill your script
before you decide to quit
this pill comes with a cost
it's not that easy
to taper off
this illness is not visible
one might say it's despicable
the pill that can make things bearable
everyday at the same time
remember it's no cure
but
it can help
and that can be worth
feeling secure