Not so cold under all that fir

Faust the crack ****'s life

Not so chumey under all that hurt

Kind madens of the night

I searched into your eyes but you weren't there.
I stared straight down at my hands.
The black diamond which I adored, which was so unique, so special, had lost its lustre.
Just dead glass.
I use to think it was a symbolic reference that u 'got me'.
But now I just feel stupid and naive.
The symbol that bound us together was just another possession
And what use have I of possessions?
A word hasn't passed between us in weeks.
Finally you break the silence and mutter some sentance.
You glance across the room
But I'm not there.

We are still floating
It's hard to believe it was six weeks ago
you could wade to the stadium
Or even float

See that Dixie cup
As the wind did blow
Go floating by half full of ***
Hey, Somebody, get me a boat


Now the fans are here like every year
it's a hundred degrees
With humiditiy so thick
It's like a sauna

Can't go outside for fear
It'd stop everything that breaths
I'd be an oil slick
Like Gulf Shores' birds, beach, fish & fauna

I'd like to go out west
where the air is clear
But I  can't 'till I'm done with my book
So it's back to the grind

It all put me to the test
Of what's important & dear
And then there's the arsonist crook
Waiting in jail until a sentance they find

I can't say I've got good health
But I can say I did it to myself
So until I can put my book on a shelf
I'll keep my head down & stay in my shell

Someone once told me that I fat.
They said it behind my back.
I heard it from a person I'd never spoken too.

They told that I should trust them and that I would be fine.
I listened the followed their words blind.
I trusted their words more than mine.

I listened and did everything they told me to do.
I was afraid that without them I would lose evething too.
I gave them my heart and leaned on them for support but it turns out, to them, that I was just a sport.

Just something new for them to try out.
Only to think that it wouldn't work out.
Tossed aside like yesterday's cold, old dinner, they lefted me in the dust to go and find someone shinier and prettier.

Pathetic I was, watching them from a far.
Wondering what I did to make them want to go so far.
I wanted to make them come back to me.
I was reliant on the lies they fed me.

I fell deep into a pit of dispair.
I wondered why no one would notice me even though I am there.
I wondered terrible things.
I wanted to be friends again.
I wanted nothing more than to be with that person again.

So one day, I mustered it up.
All the courage that I kept inside of me,
so I wouldn't mess it up.

I walked to the person right after class.
Hoping that they would see me and not just pass.
Fifteen feet away, I stood from them.
Watching intently as they spoke to someone that seemed very close to them.

Walking closer and closer till I was five feet away.
I heard one sentance and the remains for my already broken heart, flew away.

I ran away from them, farther and farther.
Wondering why I was so stupid and when would I get smarter.
I kept running away tell I fell to the ground.
Trying to get up without making a sound.

I felt something warm on my cheeks,
I look up hoping to see someone comforting me.
Instead of seeing someone there, I realized that they were just my tears of dispear.

Choking down sobs,
I held in my sniffles.
I thought about my problems and how I got myself in such a pickle.
Like in true anime style,
just to set the mood,
It started to rain on a patheic person called me.
Someone sad and a fool.
Someone who can't think clearly.

Slamming my fist to the ground, I let my sobs come freely.
I wondered why no one would love me dearly.
There was a loud clash of thunder,
I looked up fearfully.
I saw mother and father the only 2 people who had ever loved me I thought clearly.

I thought they'd smack me for being ***** and on the ground.
But my mother held out her hand to lift me from the ground.
Father handed me an umbrella and we all walked away.
Wanting to forget what had happened today.

Sitting in my room I thought to myself,
I need friends but I don't need to ones that will cause me to want to hurt myself.
I find it hard to draw myself away from them.
But it's fine, I have found people who are better than them.
These new people, they make me happy.
The share their stories and make all of us feel giggly and laughy.

In the end,
I guess you could say,
I finally found a group of people who would care about me and weren't fake.