Baltimore
this is a love poem.

Baltimore
this is a break up poem.

Baltimore,
I remember
when I first
fell in love with you.

It was 2012
I wandered around the city
taking ****** pictures of street art.
Took free public transit.
Spent the afternoon
at the old, old red Emma's
back when it wasn't bougie.

Baltimore
I knew what you were
but I couldn't help it,
I fell in love.

Baltimore
I remember courting you,
thinking maybe I could call you
Home.

You
Greatest City in America
you
both
gentrified
and
run down
all at once.

In 2014
you held me
through my numbed out days,
through my drunken nights.

You
with your ****** transportation
that might or might not arrive.

You
with your gentrified Hampden
where I once heard a white man say he felt
"So safe."

You
with your burnt out building I climbed
with a girl
who'd one day leave me behind.

You
with your street cats,
street rats.

You
with the Royal Farms
that sold cheap Mikes Hards.

I could barely love myself,
but
I still loved you.

Baltimore,
I need you to know
that I will always care for you,
but somewhere along the way
something broke in me.

Baltimore,
you held me then,
still hold me even now,
but it's getting time
for me to move on.

It's not you,
it's me.

My restlessness,
my ungratefulness,
of what you've done for me.
My inability to value
potential stability,
potential community.

It's not me,
it's you.

It's all the same with you,
same scene,
same bars,
same parties.

Baltimore,
I love you,
I really do.

Baltimore,
I'm sorry,
but we need to take a break

long-term.

Need to start seeing
other people.

Don't cry,
it's better this way.

And besides,
you're not,
could never truly be
home.

Baltimore
this is a love poem.

Baltimore
this is a break up poem.

Baltimore,
maybe one day
when the dust settles
we can be friends.

But for now,
I need to leave.

I love you.

Good bye.

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I'd heard about problems with police
hard to hear harder to believe
personally I never had a problem
oh a few well deserved speeding tickets
probably cut a break no definitely
I drove very fast especially in the turns
roll-the-tires fast in the turns
that was me

and the more I heard the faster I turned

as a young kid I applied and was accepted
to six colleges six for six piece of cake
why the stress my SAT score equated
to an I.Q. of 1 above plant life
accepted open arms those WASPs loved me
graduate school one for one
      best in the country
bar none MBA with honors that was easy
they called it the golden passport yes

passports are even faster

I never had problems
   with band-aids
       the bank
the insurance company
      the healthcare system
never turned down
      for a credit card car loan
life insurance policy
      or request for a specialist
experience is the best teacher
      and the more I learned
the less I wanted to know
      and the faster I turned

then I learned
   about certain specifics
      certain policies

with regard to traffic stops
bank loans rental property
heath care voting rights marriage
read the color purple
and then that invaluable government  
       syphilis experiment
that would have been inconceivable
       even to doctor mengele
that the star spangled banner
       has more than one stanza?  
really there were four stanzas?

MY country ‘tis of ME
      and it was making me feel *****

learned that no one
      voluntarily held that flag up
that hellish night
      o’er the ramparts WE watched
as slave and freedmen
              were ordered
      to their near certain death
with the threat of absolute
      certain death

then I watched a cop
       shoot a kid in the back
              in cold blood
near a merry-go-round
on a playground
in baltimore maryland
I liked baltimore
fast very fast he emptied the 10 round clip
of a semi-automatic 9mm Glock 27
into THAT kid's back no hesitation ******

baltimore baltimore baltimore baltimore

I hit the brakes hard
      on those fast decades and decades
generations generations generations
      of turning
I slowed down way way way down
      stopped
took a deep deep deeper breath
then did what I always did and do best
I turned turned turned I turned around
and as I turned I woke
to kneel

Come with me for a ride
Don’t even try to hide
It’s going to be a weekend getaway
Destination being Baltimore all the way
It will be the highway and us
Seeing Baltimore is a must
I am staying at my Uncle’s house
I am not married and have no spouse
My cousin drove his motorcycle
He wanted to take me for a ride
So I actually rode with my Cousin on his motorcycle
We rode through Downtown Baltimore and back
I was capturing a breeze through the helmet
Observing the crazy drivers attempting to drive
Then there was some with their mind in there own strive
I arrived back at my Uncle’s house in tack
Baltimore was fund and the weekend was young.

While they sit and watch comfortably,
Baltimore burns.

They use dollars as tinder and the starving and hysterical ancient scream of: 'help us', is nothing but black noise to them,

They sit and watch you like ally rats running riot bruising your own city.

Baltimore.

Hear me when I say
You have every right to be angry.

You have the right to want better for yourself
To not be pulled over for the crime of having a nice car and skin that matches the leather
To have a 'black sounding name' and still have a chance in getting a white collar job
To be represented as humans and not savages.  
To be emancipated from the steel eagle claws of the media.
To not be abducted, beaten, publicly shamed or killed by the police.

Baltimore I hear your crying
I feel your pain like 6 'warning' shots to the back.

One day it's MLK.
One day it's Trayvon.
One day it's Freddie.
Executed by the state without a word of repent,
without a snippet of change.
It's been this way for as long as we can remember
and they can't seem to forget that they were never better than you.

There are only men with anger
and then men with authority.

While the rich live in their charm and picket fences, they let the poor decay
in dens and gangs with **** poor education and no chance at all.

I can't offer you arms, but I can offer you heart.

Baltimore;

I feel your pain
But don't be their slaves.

Don't let them turn you into monsters on the streets

Don't let them say: this is what they're like.

Don't let them play chess with your city.

Because this is no more than a game to them.

Don't back down,
Play them back.

Win the freedom and equality you should have been granted in 1863, in 1954, 1960.

Scrap that.

The day you were born.

I tell myself,
no more.
I will not see you again,
I am done, done, done.

Yet,
I find myself driving to you
that same night
with the flimsiest excuse.

Baltimore
you are an ex
I can't quite get over.

I keep remembering
the good times,
and I can't let you go.

We say,
let's be friends,

but
when we see each other
we never say anything
important.

Baltimore
I say
no more,
but I keep coming back to you,
and you,

these days,
you're indifferent.

We have one night stands
where no one comes
and I slink away early in the morning.

There is no coffee,
no breakfast,
no romance,
no anything at all.

Baltimore,
we're a habit
I don't know how to break.

Baltimore
I don't know
what I want from you,
what I need from you,
I just know
I won't get it.

Still,
I keep coming back,
keep hoping
one day you'll feel like home.

But Baltimore,
I know better,
and anyway,
don't you know?

Exes
can't be friends.

Back in Baltimore
That was the real days
Every week, all the heat went by in a haze
When the bell rings, we’re hoppin' on the train
Lookin’ at all the feins and that's a **** shame
But they’re not on the brain

Back in B-more.

Cuz back in Baltimore, that **** was *******,
Even through all the gore, we still cherish it...
We want some more. We want some more.

Now, I'm sittin’ on my stoop,
Waitin' on some dude,
To come buy me a ring
Or pass me some of that tree.
And the humidity, nah it doesn’t bother me,
Me and the girls, we’re still hittin' up the Gallery

Inner harbor, Lexington Market, and all the jocks
They just want the junk, they’re all clowns, they’re all punks
But we got just what they want.

Now it's calm, we're on our way home
This day was the bomb, we're dialin' all our phones
Let's gossip 'bout our day
And hope these days don’t ever fade away.

Cuz, back in Baltimore, that **** was *******,
Even thru all the gore, we still cherish it...
We want some more.  We want some more.

Today former doctor John Becker was loving his life with Chris Connor even if they weren’t married or had kids but they always were very friendly with each other but one day John was getting voices in his head from all the people he yelled at when he was a doctor and John wanted to quit his job and go around the USA to escape his voices but Chris told him that if he did that he would regret it but John wasn’t wanting to listen to her because his head was going crazy
And later that day Reggie rang John saying that bob visited her saying he was happy about being at the hockey with him and hearing that made Reggie mad and she was yelling at John on the phone making John worried about where his life was heading hearing fake voices and getting old friends ringing him up upset with him and this made John want to visit his blind best friend jake in his new home in baltimore but when he rang him up jake said he was married with 2 kids and they know nothing about his old life and that is how Jake wanted to keep it.
John got very angry with jake saying I helped you a lot back in the early 2000s late 1990s and jake said yeah I know but you don’t understand this woman doesn’t understand anyone describing the people I was with back then and John said, come on give me a break I helped you now you can help me and jake said ok come to Baltimore but this isn’t a way to turn back the clock and John said goodbye and hung up the phone and said to Chris that he is going to Baltimore to visit jake and Chris started to get upset saying you just want to turn back the clock to back in Those days and John said I am hearing voices and I need to clear my head and Chris said how about I come with you it would be great to catch up and John said fine I guess and suddenly John planned to quit his job at the doctors office leaving Margaret and Linda who are still working there very much in dismay but after thinking about it Linda wanted to retire anyway and move to Los Angeles to meet a former boyfriend and Margaret was starting to feel lonely despite John not leaving yet because with Lewis dead she felt depressed and asked John and Chris if she can join their road trip much to Johns dismay but after saying no in usual John becker fashion he finally gave in and said I will pick you up tomorrow at 7 am and Chris said Margaret is lonely and depressed and could be too depressed for us but John said, she has been working for me for a long time now and she lost her husband and besides it would be good for Jake to see the old gang again and Chris went into the diner to ask hector if it will be alright if they close the diner or sell the diner and hector said well I was looking for somewhere to go in the future but why now and Chris said me and John and Margaret are going to visit Jake and his kids and hector said Jake has kids now, I would like to see him even if he can’t see me and Chris said maybe just let me John and Margaret go because you know johns car and hector said I will fly there where does he live and Chris said ‘Baltimore’ and hector I was always wanting to go there, so let’s go and I would like to see how the blind father is going anyway and when Chris told John that hector is going to fly there John did his usual Becker rage but after that he said ok as long as he doesn’t want a lift and John was suddenly hearing the voice of the journalist in the diner who accused him for being racist and he said ok let’s go to Baltimore and when they got to Baltimore after nearly crashing into a few cars who flipped him off they made it to Jakes house and Kylie who was 6 and Samuel who was 4 answered the door and Samuel said hi are you the angry man and after hearing that John was hearing the voice of Sandra who wrote that book referring him to the angry man and then Jake came in and said hi john
It has been a long time and then he heard Chris and margaret’s voices and said I didn’t expect a reunion and John said Chris is my friend, we live together and Margaret lost Lewis 2 years ago and hector is coming here soon by plane and Jake introduced his wife to his old friends and he said
Judy, this is my friends from the past and Judy said, hi Jake has told us so much about you, in that I say he told us nothing about you and Jake said there is one more coming by plane but it is good to have a reunion and Judy said maybe for you but not for me and John remembered his first dinner party with the gang when Chris and him first met and after that hector turned up and said, it is a pleasure to see you Jake unfortunately you can’t see me and Judy Samuel and Kylie went off to bed and Judy said I hope you guys have accomodation because this house is too small and John said I used to sleep on the couch in front of the tv
So I am fine but Judy said no find other accomodation and see you tomorrow or tonight for dinner, Jake said and at the end John and Chris were talking to each other loving seeing Jake and his new family for the first time and Margaret and hector were depressed together
Margaret because she misses Lewis
And I have no idea why hector is depressed but he wasn’t having *** so that could be the reason

A single day contained so many Journeys and the Stories
as if they were meant to meet.

And Baltimore,
you were the humble host
of all the Reunions.

Belgium,
Filling our stomachs and the time apart
Memories came to life and we smiled — Together

Sydney,
Talking to random seagulls between our conversations
I found a feather given by a fearsome friend

Geneva,
Learning how to pronounce a foreign word— Affogato
I imagined this is how life should taste

Yokohama,
Making fun of the sushi places hidden in the brick walls
My heart secretly traveled back home

Istanbul,
Discovering the colorful lamps
I thanked for kindnesses sent from different directions

Unexpectedly,
All the journeys took us back to the 5th grade,
picking up our favorites at a candy shop
— and I promised never to follow any strangers!

Baltimore,
You’ve taught me how it feels to grow up.
not being somebody else,
but sowing seeds in our moments,
good days and bad days,
— just like we gave a name and fell in Love
with every single corner of the Town.

Baltimore,
Let’s do it again.

when will these cops learn
that their hard work means nothing
when the curtain falls upon Baltimore
and the frightening dark sky washes upon us

when will these people learn that they are powerless
that the system isn't broke,
that we're the ones that are broke.
and that means the system is working

when will these people learn
that black means criminal
and white means

God
When will these people learn that

wait, they can't learn
because the schools have been shut down
but that's okay
'cause the new light rail train was built and
it runs from north minneapolis to the prison

when will they learn that
Freddie Gray is Ferguson
and Mike Brown is Baltimore
and our sons are alive, but they're not living

when will we learn that diversity means nothing
if there is not first liberation
when voices are silenced,
they lose more than their right to speak

when will they realize that
riots
are
justified