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Jul 2019
Love just really freaking *****.
Because you fall in love with someone who you know is no good for you.
Because you love someone so strongly and you long for them so deeply, you can’t keep yourself away.
Or worse, you feel yourself being torn apart when you keep yourself from them.
And the pain never lessens.
It never gets easier.
Months go by but the pain stills rips through your heart like a knife when you see an old picture,
Your favorite picture of you and him laughing, without a care in the world, seemingly so happy.
And even though the words he said and the things he did still cut like double edged swords...
You still want him back. You still want him to hold you. You still want to stroke his hair and hear his laugh.
But he hurt you. So why do you want him back in your life?
If I knew, I’d figure it out and stop it.
Because here he is calling me and asking me to come over over. Here he is asking me to stay.
And it’s all I really want right now, is to be with him, but I need to say no, I HAVE to say no, but I just can’t because I’m so hopelessly in love with him. Even when he’s only hurt more than he’s helped.
I’m in love with him.
I know staying the night will only end with me crying in my bed alone. But I stay anyway. Because my heart pulls me to him like the moon pulls to the earth.
If I could stop it I would. But I just can’t.
I’m in love with him.
Mackenzie Downs
Written by
Mackenzie Downs  21/F
(21/F)   
232
   Vinny Chav
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