I wonder when all the lies will catch up with me
get lodged in my throat
and make me choke with the weight of them

When did telling people that I'm fine
become such a bold faced lie

When did hiding my feelings
behind a painted on smile
became normal for me

My smile is heavy
leaving behind an aching jaw
but no joy

My eyes shinning
not with laughter
but with the tears I refuse to shed

My face is a mask
An impenetrable fortress
That will not be torn down

No one will know how I suffer
how I suffer so greatly

How my heart pounds in my chest
My ears ringing with the incessant noises
The lights are too bright
The world is too full
I cannot breathe

The people around me **** the oxygen out of the air
and leave me with nothing
Nothing but my pounding heart
and aching ears

My shaking hands
are quivering with the force it takes to lift them

To act normally

To act as if I don't feel like I am dying

Short, panicked breathes escape my lips
I think they will give me away

But don't worry

No one notices me anyway