1.     Imagine you’re in an oil painting, hung up by just threads of string

This painting is of a beach, off the coast, sea breeze smells of wet sand

Everything’s magical here, the sky burns brighter and his smile seems more relaxed

Here is where I first met his demon

1.     They say “it’s **** when he’s rough.”

So, it’s **** when his fist seems like it’s about to break my nose like glass

Or is it hot when the grip on my arm will be a small

Unnoticeable bruise tomorrow

His lips drip toxins like absolute ***** that I’m forced to drink and

His eyes no longer shine like the oil painted sky,

They look like two pits of blue flames burning down a church.

1.     When I was backed into a corner, I pretended the walls were cylindrical

And the corners were curves

Matching the body, he presumed I didn’t want and

“make sure to write your food down.”

1.     It was the first time I feared my prince,

Of the one who said “your hand is only fit to hold mine” and

Morphed my brain into a puzzle piece for his game.

2.  A time when new beginnings occur

The sky lights up like a child in front of birthday candles and

A midnight kiss starts the year off right.

Another brawl, more angry words,

I told him to get away but his ears must have been deaf since all

He heard was “come here”

2.   His nails scratched marks into my skin and

my stomach turned in anguish against his chest

when your angel sheds its wings and

the horns appear, don’t pretend they aren’t there.

2.    Fear.

My tears streaked down on my evening look but

His eyes singed them up,

Licking each one like sun flares on Mars

And I found myself curled up in a ball of doubt

2. “it’s over. I’m done. I won’t deal with this anymore”

but I made him this way, I turned his baby blues into

terrible twos that grew into his teens.

I made his smile turn to an upside-down rainbow and his arms

into steel gates.

3. Winter wonderlands, where children play make-believe games and

throw harmless snowball blows.

He, wrestled my arms and bruised my heart,

Snatched it from my chest and gnawed it with barred teeth.

I think, demons come in many shapes and his was icing on a

Birthday cake.

His was the ring on my left hand that curled around my finger like

Barbed wire and held snug like a chain linked dog.

3.  think of a mother’s whisper, a dad’s sweet song, imagine the sounds of laughter

now ignite it gasoline and you’ll get his voice.

Cutting deeper and deeper into my torn up, ****** up mind.

3.  It’s hard to hide in a car with seats greased by leather

Find somewhere to avert your eyes while his

Hands clutch your chin but,

Not in the way that’s “endearing”

No, the way that makes you turn away if seen in public, if seen here,

If seen anywhere.

3. “This won’t happen again”

“I’m here till the end”

“I love you baby”

“Please just come here”

“I would never hurt you”


3 times it happened, 3 times I stayed.