I keep my face bare
Saving my make up for him on weekends.
I count every calorie of every day
Hoping he will grab my waist more tenderly.
I rid my body of hair until it bleeds
Just in case he visits.
I push my heart rate daily
Willing my body to burn itself.
I cut and pick and paint my nails and their beds
Dreaming in a haze that he'll hold them.
I whisper loving words in his ear and leave him love notes
Praying one day he will return them to me.