i hurt myself countless times today
but only this time not physically
i hurt myself like i won't stop thinking about the things that make me feel worthless
i hurt myself like i daydream about the boys that make me feel unsure of myself just when my confidence was starting to rise
i hurt myself like i let these feelings take over my mind completely so that whether or not i think i'm good enough is based on my assumptions of why everyone that momentarily makes me feel secure doesn't talk to me for a day or two
i hurt myself like i'm writing these ******* thoughts down on paper as if thinking deeper about it is going to do anything other than rip open old wounds
i hurt myself like i sabotage my own happiness because it's so easy to tear down what is just a light veil draped over all these years of self hatred and low self esteem that has built up so much it could reach the earths core
i hurt myself like i know i won't stop until i've convinced myself that i am nothing