I thought a lot today, that doesn't happen often.

I thought about how I lost a big sister
I thought about how I am the only to laugh at my jokes
I thought about the days when I used to fit into a size six

I'm not one to often feel sorry for myself but when I think, I put myself into a bad mood.

I travel back to the days when I used to live with my father. He was once good, you know, but drugs can take a lot from a man

I went back to the day I broke my arm when I fell out of an apple tree and lied because I didn't want to get my grandma in trouble for not watching me

I went back to the day when they buried my best friend because of the sickness that invaded his body

I thought back to Thursday when I didn't hear my name called for the second round

I think back to all of the bad memories because that's all I can remember. Sad, right?

I told myself I'd write a happy poem but how can you write a poem without putting all of your emotions and thoughts into it? And the only thing I'm feeling and thinking right now is sadness

I'll just add "write a happy poem" to my bucket list, because I know that I'm not going to be able to write one soon

*maybe this is why i don't think a lot.