Feb 2015
My body is like a destroyed DVD,
Scratched up from all the lies and pain brought by two humans I’ve trusted for the last 14 years.
Like a deep scarred disc,
My life stops, (Pause)
sk-k-kips (act like i’m stuttering) over the years I call scenes, I want to forget.
As time ticks by,
more scenes from my life are erased from sharp things like knives and lies.
scene 1: Daddy quits drinking, mommy starts smoking again.
scene 2: We move to Maine to be close to grampy and grammy, they said maybe they can help mommy slow down the amount of gray clouds released from her mouth.
scene 3: Mommy and daddy kiss each other like the people in the movies, its kinda gross
scene 4: We move again cause daddy says his hands make holes in the walls bigger than elephants. and I know that is big.
scene 5: I start Kindergarten, daddy is holding my hand tighter than a gorilla. it sort of hurts but I won’t say anything.
scene 6: I call my teacher mom, maybe cause mrs.roberts has asked me more questions about how my day than the person that used to make supper for us.
scene 7: Mommy starts swallowing these ovally things so she can feel better and not yell at daddy anymore
scene 8: I have to start taking the pills with mommy cause apparently being myself isn’t good enough for her.
[Pause again]
scene 9: mommy is pulling more cigarettes out of the white box than I can even count
scene 9: my daddy wakes me up with bottles that are brown and shaped like the ones on t.v. breaking on the floor cause he isn’t supposed to be drinking that kind of “juice”
scene 10: My mom says she is going away for a while but never says when she’ll be back.
Scene 10: I’m not inhaling the black smoke she blew in my face filled with elements that I discovered called Lies and pain.
Scene 11: Mom comes back like winter, cold hearted and only for a few months
[Pause for audience]
scene 12: Dad locks Mom and I out of the house
scene 12: Mom leaves me at the house so I have to sleep outside
scene 12: Mom is moving 5 states south, the same direction my life is going.
(Slow down)
Scene 15: I get caught finding a way to release all the pain onto my wrists with knives cause my dad is using the same knives to open bottles like a sailor.
Scene 15: I haven’t seen mom in 3 years
Scene 15: I blame myself for dad drinking again
Scene 16: Mom says she loves her boyfriend more than her own 3 children
scene 16: My 12 year old brother is told to **** himself
scene 16: nobody cares
Scene 16: (Slow down) My dad asks why I want to skip over the scenes 13-14
[pause]
“Dad life is to short to reminisce all the bad things.”
Even now I still make scars on the left side of my brain as if I’m going back in time from the Iphone 6 to the 1st Iphone getting thicker and thicker
Scene 16: My dad pays for pills that try to fade the scars on my dvd.
Scratched up from all the lies and pain brought by two humans I’ve trusted for the last 14 years.
Like a deep scarred disc,
My life stops, (Pause)
sk-k-kips (act like i’m stuttering) over the years I call scenes, I want to forget.
As time ticks by,
more scenes from my life are erased from sharp things like knives and lies.
scene 1: Daddy quits drinking, mommy starts smoking again.
scene 2: We move to Maine to be close to grampy and grammy, they said maybe they can help mommy slow down the amount of gray clouds released from her mouth.
scene 3: Mommy and daddy kiss each other like the people in the movies, its kinda gross
scene 4: We move again cause daddy says his hands make holes in the walls bigger than elephants. and I know that is big.
scene 5: I start Kindergarten, daddy is holding my hand tighter than a gorilla. it sort of hurts but I won’t say anything.
scene 6: I call my teacher mom, maybe cause mrs.roberts has asked me more questions about how my day than the person that used to make supper for us.
scene 7: Mommy starts swallowing these ovally things so she can feel better and not yell at daddy anymore
scene 8: I have to start taking the pills with mommy cause apparently being myself isn’t good enough for her.
[Pause again]
scene 9: mommy is pulling more cigarettes out of the white box than I can even count
scene 9: my daddy wakes me up with bottles that are brown and shaped like the ones on t.v. breaking on the floor cause he isn’t supposed to be drinking that kind of “juice”
scene 10: My mom says she is going away for a while but never says when she’ll be back.
Scene 10: I’m not inhaling the black smoke she blew in my face filled with elements that I discovered called Lies and pain.
Scene 11: Mom comes back like winter, cold hearted and only for a few months
[Pause for audience]
scene 12: Dad locks Mom and I out of the house
scene 12: Mom leaves me at the house so I have to sleep outside
scene 12: Mom is moving 5 states south, the same direction my life is going.
(Slow down)
Scene 15: I get caught finding a way to release all the pain onto my wrists with knives cause my dad is using the same knives to open bottles like a sailor.
Scene 15: I haven’t seen mom in 3 years
Scene 15: I blame myself for dad drinking again
Scene 16: Mom says she loves her boyfriend more than her own 3 children
scene 16: My 12 year old brother is told to **** himself
scene 16: nobody cares
Scene 16: (Slow down) My dad asks why I want to skip over the scenes 13-14
[pause]
“Dad life is to short to reminisce all the bad things.”
Even now I still make scars on the left side of my brain as if I’m going back in time from the Iphone 6 to the 1st Iphone getting thicker and thicker
Scene 16: My dad pays for pills that try to fade the scars on my dvd.
A poem about my life....
