I see you here with me now,
Over many years ago,
You left.
Guilty and latched in my own heart,
My soul was sentenced for his conviction.
Writing about things that one day we discovered,
It seemed normal.
The day had a blue sky and the sun was out.
It was not normal for my soul,
When I saw you,
I found my other half.
It's hard to love you without saying anything,
It is harder to demonstrate such love without ever seeing you.
Difficult is my life,
Without the love you carry.
Never  have I seen a man so deeply in love,
Before the age of 14.
I said "I love you" and as my mouth closed,
Between my teeth was a pistol with a bullet.
You put it there to get away.
I pulled the trigger.
Dead was I from that moment on,
I am a chicken laying eggs of a scorpion,
A wire brush cleaning teeth.
When I get to heaven,
It will rain money.
My spirit tries to get back to you twice a year,
by the time you are aware
God came to take his people.
only in that rush will you know I will forever love you.
I am a *** dog in the streets,
My owner says I'm dead,
I have no teeth to eat.
I keep walking slowly during the day,
Hoping my spirit is bought back to me.
The hollow wall in my heart was never closed,
My chest hurts to think about it.
Let my spirit go,
I do not want to love you anymore.
I find it hard to forget,
And I do not earn enough to clear you out.
I write or paint my dire hunger for you,
I release pain this way.
I cannot wait to be awake.
Heaven or Hell,
It must be better than in love with you.
If this dog is lying down,
I feel the bullet inside me,
I feel like what I am,
A dead animal.

®K.S