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Periwinkelle Dec 2018
when tears come rushing
while i'm working on a paper

it's the paper i protect
not my emotions

>not everything is jolly<
Periwinkelle Nov 2018
OSD
sometimes
you just have to let life
lead the way

>on stepping down<
Periwinkelle Nov 2018
i know ive been gone a while
and for that ill say im sorry

life has caught up to me
so i must catch up to it

i have made a few drafts
and those i shall correct

but in the meantime
im back
Periwinkelle May 2018
poets are rivers
and hear me out

bodies
flowing with inspiration

mouths
bursting at the seams

wanting to put down
thoughts in words

inspiration runs dry

but life resumes
at rainfall
Periwinkelle May 2018
i feel like
i'm in a ring
with my heart
and my brain

you're the cause
of the chaos
and i'm unsure
how and why

up to a few months ago
you were just some hookup
at a party where everyone
was drunk on alcohol

except for me

i was drunk on your lips
soft as a petal
and your hands
smooth as butter

now you're back
you've been gone for a while
3 months actually
and it felt like forever

i missed you
but it feels wrong
nothing serious
just each other's hobbies
  Dec 2017 Periwinkelle
sadgirl
//

The definition of thot [that ** over there], via Urban Dictionary

A woman who pretends to be the type of valuable female commodity who rightfully earns male commitment—until the man discovers that she’s just a cheap imitation of a “good girl” who is good for nothing, and definitely not for relationships or respect.

If women are products, then thots are cheap goods. More than that, they’re knockoffs: low-quality merchandise that attempts to masquerade as luxury items.

They generally dress in cheap clothing, try to act like they're better than they really are, or think they're not ****** but high class when they're nothing close to classy. They demand respect, money, gifts, dates but do nothing to deserve any of it because they have no self-respect, no manners, low self esteem, little education and on top of all that they are thots because they have no self worth.

//

he called me a thot.
the same blood-boy nightmare who bragged about his ******* and double cup. too cheap to buy actavis generics, so he drank himself into a stupor on walgreens brand dye-free cough syrup. he acted black, said words white boys shouldn't have near their mouths. his friends were ableist at the best, and misogynist at worst.

he called other girls thots too.
but i was different. stick-and-poke told trans king who told american spirit who told blood-boy what i confided in a friend. a story that ends and begins with my tears, tears from gagging, tears from telling my mother about the worst three minutes of my life and how my knees and heart hurt afterwards.

i embodied thot.
left my family for friends, joked about the pain until it hurt even more. i found myself crying in bathroom stalls, looking down at my body in the bathtub as i learned to breathe water. the girls said i was thick, i didn't know if they meant it in a good way. the boys said worse. i wore camouflage pants, comme de garçons tops, air force ones. i jumped on trends like a wild cat stalking prey. but i could never catch anything worthwhile with my soft, clawed paws.

he smiled like he was better than me.
after blood-boy stunned summers and winters alike, burned spring and fall, and for what? to call me a thot? i knew what i was to him. but he didn’t define me anymore.

he called me a thot.
and this time i fought back with my eyes, didn’t just sit there and feel words welling up inside.
because even thots are queens.
because i used to be deciduous, but now i’m evergreen.


//
Periwinkelle Nov 2017
eyes of jade
heart of gold

words strung like pearls
hands soft as cotton

spellbound
drifted into your arms

welcoming like home
and ever so familiar

suddenly

your eyes lost their colour
and your heart turned cold
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