I dreamt you last night.
Attending church with my mother.
You were there in the pew,
in the grey dress you wore to your grandparents
that Christmas.
You were beautiful,
but your eyes were not your own

Every sappy movie I watch
Every love song hear
Every  tragic romance
Every honey soaked poem
That makes children groan

Every golden day
Every bursting flower
Every shimmering sea
Every cozy nook
Just big enough for two

Every time
Every ******* time
I think of you

You are the heroine in my biography
You are the infectious refrain
You are the catalyst of suicide
You are the eyes that start wars
And the blood that ends them

You are the sun
Nourishing the budding rose
Heating the swirling water
And setting us adrift
Carefree and content
Trying to remember when
To figure out how
The world became so lovely

I have had enough of people  
Of life
I have had enough of the noises
We make on cue
The buttons pressed
The buzzes and whirs
That always fizzle
The righteous anger
And the bloodlust masquerading as fact
The hopeless treadmill of pleasure
And this glass of high proof alcohol
That disinfects my heart