Everyone pulling, ripping, tearing trying to lift themselves above water
While suffocating others in the process
But look around
The waters shallow
just stand up
Pick your friend up and walk on

I do not
think that I
was meant
to break away

For now
My thoughts are scattered
and
shattered
like shards of
glass

I
do not know when
I will find
a light
or a hope
for me
in this darkness
that drowns
me

I do not
think that I
was meant
to break away

For now I
cannot sleep
I have
no
identity

I am
broken
and forgotten
crushed underfoot
by the
masses
like
shattered glass

If my friends knew
of the pain inside
and the technique I created
for my scars to show up
perfectly aligned
I do not believe
they would remain my friends much longer.

If my friends knew
how I cry at night
and try to choke myself with my own dark hair
and finally,
lay broken and sobbing
in the midnight air
I would not blame he or she
if they stopped being friends with me.

If my friends knew
how I turned to *** to numb the pain
or jumped out the window
to feel again
I wouldn't blame my friends
for saying Im insane.

Lastly and surely,
if my friends knew
how many times I have bled
or burned
or weeped
or screamed
or tore away my lover's clothes
to distract my brain from
burning eyes
my friends might figure out
my disguise.

You were a silhouette
in red from the taillights.
We were lost on the side
of the highway.
It was cold and we were smoking,
exhaling gingerly into the winter night.
There's something gorgeous
about you there,
underneath the lamp of the
streetlight and tinted red.
You smoked with the cigarette
high between your fingers,
almost to the nail,
holding it tight and kissing it
to your lips with a grace
I haven't been witness to since.
Your hands got cold
and you grabbed mine,
pushing them into the
pockets of my winter coat.
It has never again been more
ok to be cold, there against
the car.
It has never again been more
ok to be lost.