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Amy Childers Aug 2023
I have sinned for far too long in your name and yet your heart has a delicious taste.
It is like the sweet core of an apple gone rotten.
Once a guilty pleasure that lit my soul aflame, but time revealed that my trust was misplaced.
A bitter pill to swallow, but will never be forgotten.
My love for you will never be the same.
My poisoned slice of heaven,
You are to blame.
Amy Childers Aug 2023
The flock has always loathed me for the shortcomings I attained from their scorn.
Yet during their retribution, I only grinned.
They were too busy painting me in black, that they ignored the wolf hiding amongst them.
Luckily for me, the wolf will dine upon them while I blend into the shades of the moonlight.
Oh pity for the ignorant collective of the flock.
Amy Childers Jul 2023
How unconditioned our love used to be,  
but you made a habit of drinking poison while you sleep.
Now death holds you accountable for your sins
While six feet below maggots feast on your decaying skin.
I was once a slave to my lover's every whim,
but time has an endless pool for me to swim.
As days go by I replenish the black dahlias on your grave and a lover's remorse is something I do not crave.
Betrayal of trust and fiery rage
Your body now lies in a wooden cage.
If I had one last dance in your embrace
My very soul might begin to break.  
Before my insanity slips back to stability,
I remember how death did seem so desirable on your lips.
#death #grave #lovers #black
Amy Childers Jul 2023
I am ephemeral yet eternal.

Drowning in my own insanity and emptiness,
Yet there is a sense of banality as my soul spirals in the waves.

Enraged and imprisoned amongst the tide
My body now imprisoned by fleeing time.
The crashing waves tearing flesh from bone, And the tide carrying my tortured soul.
My body forgotten along the shore,
Returning to the elements where I was once Born.

Blood to Earth, my debt has been repayed.
In the afterglow my bones now lay.
Forgotten, buried in the sand.
      
   Am I eternal or ephemeral?
        
I am just a man.
Amy Childers Jul 2023
All you had to do was zoom in...
You would have seen that my smiling mask
         was cracking..
My bright eyes
          were dimming..
My very soul
          was fading..
Maybe you could have saved me.
Maybe you could have listened.
           To think...
  All you had to do was zoom in...
Amy Childers Feb 2021
Yea
So yea it's been a while,
I guess I forgot all of the things that used to make me smile.
maybe that is destructive on my part but everything I loved will eventually break my heart.
so yea I gave up
because I rather have never loved at all and
forget this pain.
the pain that will not leave my heart or brain.
so yea
...
I give up.
Amy Childers Aug 2019
I tried to work on my depression, but no one will listen.
I sit down and try to piece things together but nothing is changing. Sometimes I wonder if I am wasting my time and should go back to lying. "Yeah I'm fine. Why?"
Calm down Amy or you are going to start crying
If you show vulnerability then you will never be able to look them in the eye.
Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier to die.
Maybe then I will not be here trying to make you listen.
What about your stupid feelings, ha no one will miss them.
Oh! That is not a tear in my eye! Those are not my emotions that I hide.
No! I am not trying to hint at something.
I don't care if my dad thinks I am nothing.
I don't care if he hates me.
I don't care that everyone around me is changing.
And I don't care if you get up and leave me.
Because you are not the first ones, all of my family and friends are fading.
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