You should leave, but I'll ask you to stay
and you will.

Ginger peach,
chai spice,
earl grey,
and green.
Every sunrise you burn your mouth eager,
while I hate caffeine.
You ask for more honey,
and i'll keep mine plain.
But two could never be perfect
if exactly the same.

Carnival lights
Your spinning eyes
Dizzy in a crowd so full of life.
Humid heat
Sun setting
Friday night
Streets filling.
My feet stumbling
Gravel crunching
Legs follow you toward a door.
Hands pulling
Shutter slamming,
Stepping into Last Word Book Store.

You take me to the woods to kiss me
it's there I realize there's no spark, no light in the collide of our lips
just mindless, emotionless kissing
I could see it on your face
you didn't stay the night as I earlier
and no longer wished you would
I collapse on the sofa and watch as you shift in reverse out of the driveway

How am I dry
When years of anticipation are melting like a glacier?
All I’ve ever wanted
Is standing at the end of my bed
With his cold hands
pulling apart my thighs
So why am I fighting so hard
To get out of my head?
When he looked into my eyes
I saw guilt staring back at me.
When he kissed my lips,
He hated that they tasted unmistakably mine
And not of his lovers.
Our timings never been “okay”,
I should have taken that as a sign
To keep this a fantasy.

My brain soaks in confusion and my eyes scan nervously over forty six little white pills sprawled out on an orange paper stating academic achievement.
I repeat the same question i've asked myself probably four hundred times since last night, and my answer still lingers somewhere in-between absolutely and no.

She's been trying for days
backspace, erase; can't find any ways
Its the kisses he gave before their lips met
has her caught in a daze, thoughts stuck in a net
But who can expect
the other not to dissect the moments during, the minutes after,
the hours proceeding a kiss?
From prologue to epilogue is to reminisce of bliss.

Guilt attached inexorably to me
I have it all wrong
I just picture him

Words like "It's okay" and "I'll understand for you"are flooding from your heart to my gut but keep getting lodged in my throat.
Like words that sound similar to "I love you" resonate like "I'm sorry"

He told me his favorite part of summer was my hair dancing circles on his face.
He loved to gather all three feet of my locks in his hand and raise it up to toast the wind; each strand ricocheting off invisible corners of the air.
He never minded getting his fingers caught in tangles.
Twice I let him cut the elastic binding of my hair tie
just to see it all fall down my body.

I stood calm and sober starring into an unfamiliar bathroom mirror as I made his favorite part of summer fall into piles around my feet.

The freedom in your veins was too much for you to stop but the monitor beside your bed had no problem coming to a halt
It was 5:42
I was holding what was left of you, but I held too tight and that seemed to be the issue from the start.

I miss him most when he is here, when he is close enough I could reach out and touch him. But only in places that are becoming routine. I reminisce back to a time when he would handle me like glass, when he'd run his fingers though my unwashed hair while I pretended to sleep.
Our first embrace.
When we kissed on the end of my bed, his skin slippery with angst.
My clothes wrinkled, synched tight around my waist getting caught between myself and the covers.
We were two brand new tension filled lovers.

Not too long ago you were only an idea in my head
Now here you are. Arms impatient, eyes red, slithering through my bed.
I've lost interest in starring at your face, each time I look your eyes are wandering
In the morning I can tell you're wondering what I'm thinking
but not curious enough to ask.
I get tired of waiting; anticipating your curiosity
A spark of interest in my mind
you close your hands and heart but our bodies stay intertwined

There were colors in your eyes only I had seen.

Without alcohol,
It's hard to numb the thought
That I might not ever write as authentically
As I did when I was drunk.

I think you forgot to let me know that you let me go.

My thoughts have been on that train.

I ruined my socks for you.

Your back lied upon my floor
my head lied upon your chest
through my right ear I hear your heartbeat
"an illusion?" I ask my self now
couldn't be.
I felt your pulse thumping to the rate of our pace.
lying alone on my bedroom floor
like me,
my eyes fall
they shut to envision your face

In jokes we take little too far
in games we shouldn't play
between glances that say too much
and hugs that last no time at all
in messages you send while you're still driving home from mine
in excuses just to make a memory that we will forget by thirty five
Its a game we play and we know how it ends but we keep drawing new cards because we want the other to win.

"How long do you think it'll take us to admit this?"
She questioned herself silently
Head rising and falling with his chest.
"Probably forever"
He thought to himself while stroking her hair and shoulder.

I listen as he romanticizes cheating,
contorting it into “forbidden love”.

Let me real-life your fantasy.

For it would be a fallacy to judge
when I too, romanticize everything.

In public
We don’t talk
But tonight
He only speaks in lust

I know it's only my mind contouring his mouth into a smile and when I turn to walk away the velcro on his lips part; words like a choke-chain. But he has lyrics that remind him of somebody else etched into his hands, and she'll always be part of the plan.
He hums her song into my throat and we both pretend I don't understand.

I like your body in the daytime
silhouette at my door
I like your body at night time memorizing it's anatomy on my floor.
I like your body in the morning, holding my hips as I gaze down at your face.
I like your body
any hour
any day.
I'll fall in like with your body while you make more than my breath race.
I'll be in love with your body while mine lay sore.
You only like my body when asking for more.

If he dare assume once more that he knows how my mind works
I will hold him up by the neck
And if he dare pick up his pencil and try to map out my brain
I will break it and remind him he is nothing but a speck

Today Leonardo drew a perfect circle freehand,
it was pretty rad.

You read about my life in words you never hear.
Everything seems familiar but it's something you always feared.
His kiss isn't the same, his touch sparks a different match.
Who am I to compare the flame when its something we never had?
Its like re-watching a play and the main character has been replaced by an actor much less passionate, going places you never faced.

I will finally catch some sleep knowing you're not mine to keep.

I'm ready
I'm ready
     I thought
I'm ready
I'm ready
     Wait, I'm not.

I know better than to overplay my hand,
                                 but suspense gets old.

“I want you to ruin me.”

I think you have evil in you,
and that it’s higher to the surface than you’d be comfortable to admit.
I saw it in your eyes as you stood there
looking down on me.
I think you have evil in you.
I felt it with each hit.

He said “If only you knew..”
We should have left it at that

Even with your fingers twisted around my neck I'm convinced everything's alright. You forget to water my flowers,
and my ears never meet the words I want to hear.
Instead these pretty little things fill their place.
While your sand paper hands slither down my back
I kiss your face.

I know I am meant to be a mother with all that I am.
I close my eyes to see my child’s face and feel their little hands.
I open my eyes and the bliss shifts to pain as fear heavier than anything I could explain cuts through my chest like a rip tide.
What means the world to me
may have been
forever
taken from me by a man
I meant nothing to.

It would be easy to give you all I have,
I know you'd give me what you could.
But there will always be something inside of you, that I never quite understood.
You can par with who you were
and I'll only see who you are.
I won't judge you for what you did
If you won't judge me for what I'll do.

You love then hide
like rise and tide.
Go on
protect your pride, just know I tried.

I tend to get rowdy so tell your men to watch their mouth when they're around me

Why do I believe you
Every time you say 
Be there soon
When we both know you'll show up after midnight
And leave before noon.

Hype beast, hype beast
He's wearing ***** Nikes
Daddy wasn't there
So he's not acting very nicely.
Its likely, likely his room is sure a mess
But he's feeling real clean
Cause it's all in how he dress.

***** pack across his chest
Ego real big
Man he feels like he's he best
But he's just a P.O.S.
And never any less
Cause it's all in how he dress.

"Give me that new season
I can't wait until it drop.
Limited edition
400 bucks so I can cop.
I want the most exclusive thing.
*****, my styles so supreme."
"Sole purpose to impress all these self-conscious depressed *******
And when I'm feeling threatened
I resort to molesting pretty misses."

Diluted street wear Nike s.b.
Whatchu' coppin' on this drop?
I rock hyped ****
Just so I can get the props
Got no self worth and it costed me a lot.
No personality?
***** look at what I bought.

Between disappointment and heart-break,
I feel relief.

The desires I often pushed down
can now be released.
Without you, I unravel.
I allow primal desires to run free.
What a delight to enjoy in someone else what you simply could not give me.

From what metaphoric spark                      
Is one another possible?

I’m just a young woman with an active imagination,
and an even more active libido.

Wooden stairs and maraschino cherries.
The vision varies,
but when it comes down to it it’s really your decision.

I want to be your prey,
we can treat it like religion.

You said “it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission”

At comfort knowing
We're an option
In the multiverse.

It's habitual, your love is like a ritual
often feeling unrequited
my love is so one sided
can't say I ever minded though cause at the end of the day once you've hit the hay and gone to sleep, I lay up reminded to really love myself deep because nobody can keep myself like me
and no one will love you true quite like you

I waited, because of love.
I suffered, because of love.
I put my needs after yours, because of love.
I tried and tried and tried because of love.
but tonight I learned that love is not enough.

What wanders above?
Could it be we are in many, many other universes?

We’ve been communicating
between the lines,
For far, far too long.

It’s only wrong
if you let it be.