Skinny-dipping thoughts; the barest
form to say their dressed words
Body shots that taste so vacant,
for those working ceaselessly on themselves.

And to those opposed to their opposite of love;
with hateful manners on glass table tops,
Brushing off former charms of love, swept
under the rug; while after all the wettest kisses;
heartbreak tastes so sour, while everything else
requires a couple of mops.

For I had slipped into its fall, hoping for the
spring of emotions, but I crushed my crown;
feeling royally *******.

Twisted to one side; and a jab of sighs, for
taking the time for somebody’s love sickness
—must have been its favourite patient.

the world might end in the afternoon on an average tuesday,
anxiously re-reading a dozen messages without an answer.
when a broken photo frame becomes the last drop
and you find yourself unable to believe that superstitions are stupid
and the familiar ringing of the doorbell sounds like a death sentence.
despite the agony all there is to show is silent acceptance,
because their yesterday's sacrifice bought you another tomorrow
and you can only pray that in that moment they weren't alone.
although this emptiness inside of you feels like a death sentence,
the world ends every single day without anyone knowing.

Gonzo goes out
with a 45 blast.
He was kicking *** in Aspen,
we knew it wouldn't last.
The rambling, gambling
man of journalism
put Fear and Loathing on
the map,
but in the end,
he couldn't stay.
It's bat country.

So you finally
Got the guts
To migrate...

To give a guy
A chance
When you know it
Ends the same..
As the song before

Told you to knock
Down these walls
And build a door
Instead ya didn't
do a **** thing

But diss
And disappointment me
Did I expect
It to explode

With all your
Odes and empty promises
Love bombing
Cuz you wanted me

Now it's
"Our views are just too different"
You're "confused" and your too distant
To the point where I'm


Sitting,
Waiting,
Wishing



On You
Yet again

Every day I hear a song
I see a place
Or a familiar face
And my heart aches

Of a place
Of a time
Of a special rhyme

The entire time
I thought
I missed you
I longed
For us
that's not what it was
It's not what it is

I found myself in you
When you left
I left too
I've been gone
I'm still searching
For her
For me
For what I was
And want to be

This poem isn't about you
It's about me
Finding me
I've been gone
For so long
God I miss her
Her power
Her kindness
Her braveness
Her tenacity
Everything
That used to be me

Where is she
Buried in sadness
Buried in sickness
Coughing
Crying
Dying
Lying
Into
My grave
One foot
Away
I guess I'm pretty brave
For someone who's a slave
To my own body
My own mind
I feel like nobody
I don't see the stars
I don't feel the love
I just know pain
And shame

Where's the girl
With all the hope in the world
So much so
She healed others
And brothers
And sisters
The whole world
Would be healed
By the girl
With all the passion
In the world

She's gone
Gone
Gone
I'm crying for her
The memories of her
Laughing
And loving
Not ever knowing
Even more cruelty
To come

Only knowing
A one way road trip
To fun
beauty,  bravery
And sincerity
Everything
With such clarity
Wasted away
Three years or probably more now
I lost count
In my bed
Body full of rusted lead
Poisoning my head

I may as well be dead
Somewhere out there
Lost in a service plaza
Killed by monsters
And death himself
Swallowed me up
And never spit me out

Should I call myself a traitor
For not honoring my needs
When I fall for you again
When I'm struggling to breathe

In the pool of old regrets
I'm still asking what it means
As I'm sinking to the floor
As I'm drowning to be free

I lament my current ignorance
For forgetting certain things
Like when I laid down in the dirt
From admitting our defeat

There's no basis for return
If you're always in my dreams
I had finally let you go
Until I ruined everything

I shouldn't play with fire
When my heart is made of weeds
But I was so desperate for attention
And the comfort it can bring

So I'll call myself a traitor
Cause I'm only hurting me
When I'm crawling back to you
And am on my hands and knees

Dearest true love:

It's mother's day dearest darling: My blessed imaginary friend PJC/JPC= rddbba- well not so imaginary but a real true love.
You your blessed deeds remains like the stars above like the many constellations, distant in sight, but never far from mind and heart.

There are so many treasures gone wrong all which fell into enemies hands treasure map and all. Even my offspring went missing. Janehiltonmay
Our dream that did not breath in the face of reality. My heart is shattered glued back together together, Its a stubborn heart of gold does anyone need such a heart? Alone and destitute kept alive by grace of an old memory chip. After all the sacrifices carrying for everyone beloved-
On my own again.
I love you so much and you my precious grown treasures my children, my true love pat= rdd be well my love thank you for thinking of me loving me across the unsurmountable obstacles.
May God keep you blessed safe never ever feeling alone I am just a thought away..loving you understanding you treasuring all of you all that is a part of you.
It looks like I did read between the lines and I need it now that I am older

Much love true love Mom.
Angelinabba. AKA Janehiltonmay.
~~
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