and then one day you find
a soul you want to bind
someone who makes you feel
you birth was not unkind

the garden of bougainvillea
is made of pretty flowers
but her branches and thorns
keep out the lovers

all you can do is
just be mesmerized
seeing the bloom
waiting to be euthanized

that thick quilt does not work
it does not feel right
it does not give me
my lover's caresses or her bite

that thick quilt does not cover
or touch all those places
that belong to my lover
they are empty spaces

that thick quilt does not shield me
from my love's piercing stare
at my naked being
although there is nothing bare

the moon it hides
behind the high rises
of this noise
bumps and grime

he probably knows
the evenings of the souls
getting plyed home
to their pigeon holes

for when he retires at dawn
they start again with vigour
dreaming of better days
they race without a trigger

hypnotized they seem
this rat race has no pity
careful not to blink here
this is maximum city

its been a day after you left
an accident scene
a victim who was run over
to smithereens

no no there was no blood
no gory sights either
i think you know what i mean
you were the not so grim reaper

magenta had a new shade
she never knew how or when

magenta wore her today
she did not know it either

magenta stopped being a color
she's running and ran her tint
all over me

my feet firm to the ground
gravity so unkind
but the bright colored balloon
wants to unwind

the weight of my body
digging in
the string holding it
in my palm so thin

i am jealous of its sways
and it's free spirit
i release the balloon
wishing i was it

as i see it soaring away
into the skies
i look down to the ground
back again to all the lies

outrageously funny
the matters of the heart
makes clowns of us
when we play the part

the cast keeps changing
with the part

from stalkers to streakers
charmers to weepers
lovers to cheaters
playboys to loners

the cast keep changing
with the part

walking out of the theatre
of dead spectators
i think i played
each part

the cast was nothing
but only my past
and my heart
it plays no more parts

as i wander this city alone
wiping the sweat of my brow
and see the dust and grime
on my kerchief as i wipe my face

the mind it seems to be distant
sees your eyes and smile
feels your warm hand
and aches for your light kisses

the loud noises here
the soot filled air
its just the body here
as my soul is with you there

the day passes too slow
and the nights dont let me know
time teases me with its two hands
making me wait for your love

how does one
just pick a flower
from a full bloom

how does one like
just one thing
of this divine spring

love every flower
say the bird and the bee
this is nature. no monogamy

branches, flowers and fruits
they dont weigh me down
the soil has been my mother
my roots are soaked in brown

summer burnt me over
winter stripped me down
monsoon was my lover
almost always out of town

time it passed so quickly
from the day i was once sown
yes i did wonder sometimes
reasons for which i was born

years turned and twisted me
but i still wear my crown
i am bent but not fallen
is that why you axe me now

the days of morons and assasins
are here to tell us
stories so macabre
that the ghosts get the chills

for our children will know
that hell is where you are born
and heaven is just full of bright lights
and dark nights

morons of religion. morons of faith
who just want one god
made of hatred and pain

the book of the morons
has a sharp edged blade
for one who reads it
does not understand whats said

blow them to pieces
shoot them to shreds
for these are our children
and its your right to make them dead

you say your god is better
that my god is not there
i think i agree
for if he was here
then my child would still be here

dust. grime. and a lot of time.
staring out through the window
of rusty squeeky chariots of mice
holes ditches people honks shouts

yes this is the good life
this is what we traded our past for
steel and glass. angst and sighs
lust and wine come to save our ghosts

another morning
a subtle ache within
tired of this feeling
cant wake up. cant think.

my body is right here.
soul in another place.
cuddled up warm and cosy.
in my love's embrace.

i wonder how she feels
the moment she wakes.
will she even remember me
our love left no trace.

and they all applauded
at the holy union
dressed in their best
all congratulations

bright flashes.
cliques of pictures
same old rituals
of society's preachers

the audience of near ones
ghosts of dear ones
all seem present here
crossing their fingers with fear

what happens post this
may be hell or bliss
no one prepared the two
its all a hit or miss

saw a ghost today
floating around the town
looking for love in the wrong places
he was dead but not gone

saw a ghost today
he could still shed a tear
with sighs of exasperation
his loved ones only felt fear

saw a ghost today
he was drinking by the sea
glass after glass he drank
to get rid of his sobriety

saw a ghost today
he was smiling at me
through the mirror he said
hey there! how have you been?

it all begins with a capital
noun and verb
no commas just words
three of them
wish you heard

in middle of this ocean
in a boat without an oar
no land in the distance
this silence is a roar

no gulls flying by
no fish in the sea
no storm either
this was not melancholy

neither day or night
nor dusk or dawn
why did you put me here
am i just your pawn

sober. i am feeling sober.
the fuzzy heavy head's gone
the distance. i think it helps.
but the ache. its still there.

lighter. i feel lighter.
all that gravity, the weight
pushing me towards you.
i guess its all i want.

conversation. what conversation?
i dont recall a ******* thing
that breeze through the car window
the moving lights. deep piercing eyes.

we had a moment, you say
eternity did you mean?
we had something going you felt
was i even breathing then?

now that i am coming to
i think i have been had
your sinister evenings with me
were the best i ever had

why do you leave your preys half eaten
is that a cosmic tease?
i am trying to still figure
if i m alive or deceased

standing on the edge
of this empty well
looking within i had planned
to end it all, maybe end it well

the deep bottom i see
is dry, parched and old
skeletons of desperate souls
my brothers who jumped before

the well was full once
brimming with the village soul
it quenched the thirst
was more than a watering hole

my body is weak and bone is dry
the thirst is gone
the lines on my face
tell my story wry

the rope still hanging
on the pulley loose
used to bring up water
now it has turned into a noose

How dare I
put pen to paper
talk about your god
with a caricature

this is where i laugh or cry
this is where i get scared
i am wondering now
who is really mad

i think i am losing it
i can’t see any difference
between a religion
or a mental institution

You are going to send me
to heaven or hell maybe
i get your message now
Oh this is blasphemy!

why do they call it
making love

when love
makes us do all those things

will talk to you tomorrow
she says
the next day begins
with no moment to laze

my pings of "hi"s
have become pangs with sighs
and shes been too busy
to take notice of my craze

one more day. one more night
i keep counting untaken breaths
awaiting her voice and sharp gaze

this party has been good
the people, learning truths from lies
some laughter, some cries
but its the time in between

those are the toughest times
conversations of my mind
as i sip the spirits of thoughts
in these bars of time and space

mingling with the crowd
of solitude, despair and hope
i keep looking for the exit
and suddenly meet you at the door

i met her in another city
an early breakfast
warm sun in the cool breeze
even the day turned out pretty

the cups and cutlery sailed
the sea of the table between
our thoughts too far
a lot remained to be seen

where was this going
would this turn into a tale
we already had our own journey
didnt know if we shared a trail

so i tell myself, i can survive this
and this heartache is nothing
but an affliction of love

its just a few hours
no communication
i had taken you for granted
thought it was my ration

time it stops still
i struggle to just go through
a time i cant ****
waiting to hear a whisper from you

so you create me
and show me the beauty
of your other creations
then desire fills me

the needs and wants
pain and joy
prayers and pleading
then the lessons of karma

and then back to the dust
did i ask to be created?
or is this a game you play
to **** your boredom

i dont want your grace
your bliss or pity
my only request not a prayer
just uncreate me

the sun
it drops gently on my face
rays of warm light
burning my bruises away

the coffee aroma
the light breeze
the honks of the traffic
carrying worker bees

i was surprised
at myself how i could live
in this city of bodies
but alive so few

the orange ball of fire
gives me hope from above
as each new day arrives
with unrequited love

we sat across, eyes entwined
our thoughts making love
i am not surprised
the pause, it got pregnant

the smile, the eyes
tilted head on the side
we did not need words
our bodies mere remnant

the sight and the smell
sounds of ground coffee
it broke the spell
we left the cafe repentant

there was a plant in a ***
next to my bed
its was green and healthy
seemed well fed

for each night
it was watered drop by drop
by my painful memories
and resulting sobs

now the plant has turned dry
it has lost its leaves
it looks so weak,
regretting its wants over its needs

for i once cared for it
with all my joy
i gave it water
and gave it no lies

but all it felt were
suspicions and fears
it did not want water
only my tears

now that the plant
is withering away
i have just come to realise
it was just a cactus anyway

this moment is but a thought
already passed and free
to be whatever it wants to be

but those who are coming in soon
bring me a lot of hope and warmth
of unsmelt flowers full of glee

oh how i ache to make time stop
to fill myself with the falling drops
of cloudy breezy days
those lazy ways of promises

linger.
for this is never happening again.
linger.
for this is all it that could have been.
linger my dear.

cold hands. warm feelings.
hot flushes. cold sighs.
tear me down. put me together again.
you glances weaving through

linger. for this is just love
between two lost souls

finally i open my hand
letting go of hers
the grip, muscles and veins
blood rushed in fast

liberated i felt
she dissapeared so quick
like a ghost in a hurry
my mind now not so thick

a deep breath dives in
my lungs exhale quietly
she was the muse for my verse
amused its over. it was terse.

have you seen life
in a single light
would things be all
black or white

good or bad
flight or fight
would it be easy
to do whats right

heart or mind
plight or might
would you know
to feel day from night

all your breaths, all your sighs
all the tears of joy and slight
you just realise now
there is no black or white

Born. Once again.
Air filling in my wet lungs.
Cant open these eyes.
Even if they did, i cant see

The skin, the hair
Are my only shields
And the sun and rain
Will make them hold me in

Oh my lessons from the past
Why cant i learn from them yet
I keep coming back
Just to see the sun set.

I grow in size
But my soul it seems
Is just a balloon
Holding all my sins

A day then comes
Of my final gasps
A check out bill of things
i lost and grasped

Again.

Can't wipe this smile off my face
the joke was on me, i know
but this was not a time or the place
to cause a row

all the storm, i seemed to cause
by my complete devotion
now this pregnant pause
followed by your cold emotion

"...i cant make that choice" she answered
to a question i never asked
"Now that i have already devoured your heart, its time to snap off your head and finish the task"

a tender flower
full of glee
she looks up to the sun
with dew soaked leaves

along comes
a wandering butterfly
and circles around her
as the breeze helps, she looks at him

awestruck he fumbles
words dont come through, he rambles
gathering all courage he dives
into her nectar filled womb

wings open and fold
as he sips her love
a dance so divine this
this was an eternal groove

no walls
no ground
no boat

pitch black
no direction
trying to stay afloat

no coordinates
no echoes
sound of my own breath

no time
no lapse
no life. no death.

sharp pain
and joyous bliss
boredom of the futile wait

the dawn it feels different
the weight on my bed gone
i can still feel the warmth
i realise its just my own

i hear the chirps outside
the traffic sounds thin
getting up from the dead weight
of thoughts of what could have been

as the warm water clears my mind
the muscles spring back to life
i plan to make this morning
a new chapter without strife

some days are empty
some days so full
i have become a sieve
filtering residual love

i get filled up with beauty
but the joy passes so soon
am left with memories clinging
on the perforations of my soul

wish i was impervious
or how i wish i was open
holding back or letting go
is such a heavy burden

somethings not right
in all of our days
and most of our nights

somethings are never right
on sunny days
the fall of the light

we wake up **** and shower
and put on clothes of power
and live one more day of plight

its not quite right
we get ****** all day
and copulate by night

pretty lit walls
with passages lit bright
soaps to eat with
news that fright

its not quite right
falling in love.
temporary insanity
ends up in profanity

the silenced breath
seems just right.
far away from the cacophony
into the white light

you lied to me
about who you were

did not tell me
that you were the morning dew
waking me up

with the sweet drop
of your love

the cord umbilical
the finger of our father
the hand of our lover
the hug of our child

something to hold on
someone to hold to

the kiss from a mother
the pinch from a sister
letters from a stalker
the stolen glances from a distance

something to remember
someone to remember

the hurt from a lie
the arguments and the cries
the bruises from a monster
the doubt in the eyes

something i dont want to remember
something i have held so far

for now i have got you
all that is left in me
are the memories
of bliss coming my way

i held her hand
the transfer of warmth to cold
she smiled and glanced aside
should i continue to hold

the hesitation in her mind
like a boat being told
to trust the sail
and throw away the oars

i wonder each day
aching to know
what she meant when she said
go with the flow

glowing faces
staring at their phones
oblivious to this plane
although they are not alone

these worlds of words
offer a new form of hope
pings, nudges and forwards
long distances can afford

leaving us surprised
at how close we get
untrue in our real world
thats the only regret

i m wearing black
and so is she
wanting to dissapear
in this night of revelry

miles apart we smile
amidst the niceties
holding our drinks
high on memories

the spirits have a mixer
of my feelings tonite
i hope they reach you
at the speed of light

I don’t want to speak with you
I don’t want to see you
At all.

For I am unable to see anything else
Unable to hear anything else
Can't taste anything else.
Can't feel anything else

I don’t want to speak with you
Our conversations are still ringing in my ears
Your fragrance still lingering in my heart

Is this how the toxin works
Not through my veins but on my thoughts
Is this how the spell binds
Through a maze of your eyes

I dont want to speak with you
ever again
For the word again"
ceased to exist the moment i met you

And then i come to a fork
i have to decide
take the highway
or the lazy road on the side

with a destination unknown
i am in no hurry
the journey so far
has been nothing but blurry

I chose wisely i think
and turn to the side
seeing the streams and flora
i tell myself this maybe a good ride

i roll down the window
fresh breeze rolling in
wondering why its taken me so long
to feel so good within

you can hardly see it coming
as it starts forming, builds its rise
you see it
almost too late

its coming your way
it picks up speed
gonna slam in to you
almost too fast

then you hold your ground
the sand below your feet
running towards it
almost feels like fate

and then as the wave hits
you find yourself still standing
you feel blessed and realise
its only your faith

i opened my eyes
the room had turned smaller
walls closing in
air much more warmer

I lit up a mild
my mood anything but
scattered thoughts
one more cigarette stub

there was a small window
next to the mirror
there was no door to this room
how the hell did i get here

Am on a new drug
guess its working
a placebo for my condition
my reflection a little less hazy

her words guide me on
prayers i think they are called
take me to the other side
breathing becomes easy

thought i saw land
or was it a glimmer at a distance
should i row towards it
or let the sail take me there