Death is not creeping up to me
I am running straight to it
Just a tiny spec in the universe
Forgotten only after it blossomed

My hands are losing its grip
I am bound to let go anyway
This slowly fading presence
Insignificant in the eyes of others

There is no fight left in me
Let it be if the world rejects me
Karma is only giving what is due
And I am in no place to reject it

The feeling of pain is gone now
Here there is only nothingness
I feel so light, without worries
I am undeserving but will go in peace

All I need is to be forgotten
I don't need to be six feet under
Nor ashes to be scattered at sea
For at last I can rest from this lifetime

We're all acting fine
until you're lying in bed
The lights are out

you give yourself break
There's no one's there
to see you anyway

A blanket over your head
a pillow hugged to your chest
As the years start to fall

A hand put to muffle the sobs
Until sleep takes over you
those years dry themselves

You wake up to tommorow
only to wait till night comes
And cry yourself to sleep again

As the Stars twinkle at night
Each light comforts another
And another, and another
A dim glow from the universe

Under this breathtaking night sky
Children blending in the background
As they wait for heaven’s graces
Stars seem to have more twinkle than their eyes

As the night grew longer, and the moon rose higher
Heaven’s graces are nowhere to be found
Unlike the stars that were apparent to everyone’s eyes
They were hidden away in the darkness

A chorus of stomach growls are heard from the alleyway
They cannot wait for heaven’s graces no more
Each person passing by is as if a star in the night sky
Heaven’s grace is in such close reach

A glimmer appeared in their eyes
And other from the cold metal in their hand
Slowly they try to reach for the stars
To silence the cries of hunger in their head

I never got the chance
To just sit down and feel the wind
Blow sweet whispers in my ear

How would it feel to be completly still
As the clock stops ticking
For all the good reasons

I may be alone, but no not lonely
As the birds fly in the sky so peacefully
So quiet that I hear my own heartbeat

I never got the chance to give
Although it's fair since I never looked for it
Since they said let love find you

How nice would it be
To just tear this facade of a fantasy
And just pour out all of my anxiety

All I want in life is to be happy
Turns out things don't work out that easily
You grovel and grovel and grovel

A field of flowers in every horizon
Go cry your heart out
Go scream till your lungs hurt

No one will hear you anyway
Now put your mask back on
Put a smile on your face

"Are you in love?"

'No, not yet.'

"When do you think you'll fall in love?"

'Come the day I'll learn to love myself.'

"When will that happen?"

'Surely not anytime soon.'

"And why is that?"

The warmth of your hug
Just melts away
The tense nerves
On my body

You're all I need
After a tiring day
My home
my comfort

It's as easy as
One, two, three
To fill my heart with glee

Go cry your eyes out
Go scream into your pillow

Whatever it takes
To take away that pain of yours

And afterwards, build yourself
From bottom to top

Love, that cliché love
Love that never goes without pain

Nevertheless you repeat the cycle again
You love and get hurt

Go cry your heart out
For every wasted feelings you gave away

Because love might be a cliché
But what's life without it anyway

sometimes,

I wonder when I'll get to be happy
but then a few seconds later
I contemplate if I even deserve that

and you know what?

I'm starting to think I don't
that realization hurts
but it makes a lot of sense;

Just when I thought
I was reaching for it
Happiness seems to be
So far away, so out of reach

it ***** when you're sad and the tears won't ******* fall like **** let me cry out my guts and my feelings

I don't want to feel numb and void of emotions, let me feel anything at all because not feeling anything scares me more than being depressed

At the end of the day
there'll be a beautiful sunset
waiting for you

Right afterwards
the sky will be painted black
with twinkling stars for comfort

But then the clouds start to cover them
Blocking your view, and the demons
they appear again in your head

It's past midnight: early a.m
you have no idea
why you feel how you do

You just lay there alone
with vicious thoughts running around
as the tears slowly start to fall

From your cheeks to your nose
and your clothes even got wet
and you run out of breath

You try not to make a sound
because no one should know
it won't be any good for anyone

Until you fall asleep
and hope to have a good dream
but still you fail to be happy

Even in your sleep
not a hint of joy to be found
only this pounding feeling in your chest

And then you hear the alarm sounding off
As your eyes open you see darkness
The same ceiling you stared crying to sleep

It took every ounce to get out of bed
to face a new day
and be miserable inside

As the sunrise comes
we have to pretend once again
how can I stop this feeling?

I hope that I grow
So I won't give in
To these insecurities
I hope I don't compare
So that I will learn
To finally love myself

home doesn't feel like home anymore
where can I find a place called home
you can call me a creep but with you
I found home

When people say that
they got you always
but end up ditching you
in the dust, makes me realize
how I really only have
myself to rely on

I just want to get out
for a while from reality
and into your arms
feeling your warmth

I just want a hug
in this rainy weather
a short break from it all
all I ask for is a cuddle

I'm okay
is by far the
most often
lie I tell
and it's also
the lie that
always gets
me caught

She never knew where she stands
never knew what she's worth
and yet she always fall too fast

She wasn't able to get back up
to go out, it made her feel low
made her feel nothing

All she wants is a holding hand
and an open heart - acceptance
she's been begging all her life

But no one could hear her voice
all the way down there
she continued - having nothing else to do

I hate having to beg for attention
But I'm scared of not getting any

I hate that I have to beg for your time
But I have no choice, you're my life line

I hate this feeling of loving alone
But that's how much I love you

So I'll still beg for it anyway
No matter how long it takes
Even if my bones will break

Always stuck in between,
between being a kid
        and growing up
between being grateful
        and wanting more

I'm always stuck in between,
        but somehow never stuck
        in your heart, your mind
                                  your soul

You were always stuck in mine
Whether you wanted to or not

where did it go?
did the monster called reality
eat the smile off your face?

You. You are a ray of sunshine
Mine. My source of happiness
We. I thought we were happy

You. You were that guy I never had
Mine. Maybe it was my fault
We. We just weren't meant to be

You. It was always you and you again
Mine. I'll never be able to call you mine
We. We cannot be, you and I, missed our chance

I am empty,
Trying to squeeze out words
To make a poem that is loved
At the same time hated

A poem that is loved
Because of its familiar sound
A poem that is hated
Because of the reality it portrays

I am empty,
Empty of love
Trying to fill up my heart
Only ending up void again

Again. Here we go again
This feeling of emptiness
Never quite sure
Of one's own emotions

Stranger. Who are you?
It's as if they were strangers
Not knowing what she loves
What she hates,  what she wants

She is her own stranger,
A different person each day
And each day again
That stranger felt empty

Somewhere,
      the rain falls
      oh the rain
      can't help falling
      into the sea
      going back home
      to where it belongs

Somehow,
      I'm just like
      the rain
      can't help falling
      back in your arms
      to where I belong

I fell too deep
Never got back up
It's too late for me

Go save yourself

How have you been?
Are you all right?
I look at the night sky and think of you
I listen to songs that remind me of you

Are you doing fine?
Have you eaten yet?
I passed by your favourite restaurant today
I watched the first movie we saw together

I wonder how the stars look up there
Do they look different up close?
How have you been?
Because I've been missing you since