i wonder about the clouds
and if they kiss the sky
or each other.
i wonder if the grass
appreciates the wind blowing through it
and if the leaves rustle on purpose.
i wonder if the walls actually listen
and keep the secrets they've overheard
just between each other.
i wonder if mirrors see people
as ugly as we see ourselves
or if they're just trying to figure out
how to convince us that we're beautiful.
i wonder if the stars stare at people
and admire their shine.
i wonder if the shore is really in love with the sea
and just waits for it's kiss to come back.
but most of all
i wonder how people
can say "i love you"
but seem to loose the meaning of that four letter word
and fall out so quickly

Baby you shouldn't be walking
When alligators are around
You said you almost fell in with them
When I told you where I wanted
To place my lips on your heavenly figure
Your knees grew weak
With every Word I speak
So stray away from the alligators
No snakes, monkeys, or rhinoes
Nothing is allowed to have till I do
I want to call dibbs on those legs
I want kiss your exotic lips
Feel the rush of your wild skin
Close to mine in the comfort of our bed
Baby I like you
You like me
We've established this
And everyday is my birthday
When I'm thinking of you
You're the wallpaper on my phone
The first thing I see when I wake up
The last thing I'm touching in my dreams
Baby call this what you will
But I like making your knees weak
With every word I speak
So if you fall
Fall into my loving arms
In this bed of endless adventures
Here's those kissy faces you love so much
:****
****:

With them my limitations were removed I was not suffering from any of the eye ailments

Although I need a gift that only She could supply a seeing heart not the closed blind one

That I posses in the counseling of her tenderness I found the best that was hidden from

Me tools that bind but all they contain is the Unattainable mystery a knowing heart

Of intuition’s magic lens without distortion through tears and a heart that is exalted by

Them we tarry in bending light that probes and produces crystal clarity from sea sights

That shapes a mind that is far reaching with great depths of expression pressure alone

Can give fortunes of wisdom by destiny’s Design Mountain and streams flow into

Dreams Uncommon the swirling of expectations cross with true reckoning of a soul

Unchained and guided only by purity set in the bedrock of emotional stead fastness so

Needed in so many places of disquiet he who rules the mind wins the mind at times will

Bridge itself with spiritual insights of character and enterprise one so outfitted cannot

Know long term failure with so much power she does hold me at times spell bound I feel

Wistful with a twinge of listlessness I choose to characterize it as auto pilot where great

Productivity is discovered when you learn to trust look into her full vision it will capture

All that is void and troublesome and replace it with active creativity there is solidarity

That is in your power to engage the quote she is not just a pretty face is more than just

Cute its factual the vibrancy left unclaimed makes us build with inferior mortar we are

Set To build a life and we deny our selves because from these liquids’ pools come

Salutation reflection the stirring of instinct the water shed of well being the treading of

Paths set fire by glory within her is nobility and airy truth of stature one that is gleaming

The light so strong that darkness has no effect into these pools of delight one enters



Smitten by charm that disarms all caution unspoken is the invitation nothing less one is assured of privacy  it’s like a long lost remembrance of such

Eloquence you slip within its holding power and dissolve a violin plays in quiet shadows

You walk with the feeling that you’re drifting through many yesterdays and your heart

Beats strongly of great promises for tomorrow the world of structures begin to vanish

One by one as walls of resistance falls away in her continued gaze you stand riveted in

Joy you are the only two in the world just two hearts beating the thunder of a water fall

Can be heard then felt by such emotional weight you are tossed and tumbled in the

Current’s freedom called forth by ecstasy masterful completeness grips you both and

Won’t let go you are conquers you are explorers of different worlds you go deeper

Returning becomes vague two voyagers who see the world anew there is only laughter

In this circus you are on a high wire and you have no fear as you hold hands all

Contention dissolved in this sea of love and friend here is the greatest part these eyes

Are only for you enjoy your relationship with your beloved

Hate. It's the worst kind of pain, guilt is bad, sadness is bad, but hate is the sickly combination of both.
You loath.
Everything.
It's such a nasty sting.
And one person shoved it upon you.
You were a house of cards, then they blew.
     Trust doesn't exist in this storm cloud.
Nothing but screams, and there oh so loud.
     Lighting and thunder start crashing down  
There will come a time, when you learn to be heartless, only to protect yourself
Make it that the only thing that exist is "self"

Please, don't say you love me unless you really mean it.
Because I might do something ignorant like believe it.
Where is the puzzle piece? Oh! Love fits.
When your heart is broken.
Hate will be your token.
Don't be blind.
     When you are feeling around for anything to hold on to, hate, is the only thing you'll find.
     And before you even realize what it is, it will take flight.
     You'll be stuck for the ride, you will be forced to hold on tight.
Never forget these words I write.

Beware
Utter hate is something few can bear

Stranger, I'm sorry.
I haven't met
You yet,
but when I do,
I'm afraid that all I'll feel
is warm limbs
and dusted lips.

Again, I'm sorry,
but not wholeheartedly.
Too much at stake.
I've too much time
that cannot be spared.
And these flames,
they won't dissipate.

I can't have it happen
because when it does
these feet will be doused
and my heart will explode
from not running about.

You'll become them,
my passions,
and, needless to say,
they're jealous of me.
They cannot share.
I am so loved.
I am so loved.

I'll shut it out,
You, for now, because
I'm afraid it may come too soon.
I pray you know that
I can't amble yet.
I've still too much to do.

I've never worn a peacoat in July,
until today. Today will be the first time
I've ever gotten goosebumps from
open subway windows on a
lightning blue underground.

I'll need a hat too,
anxiety and age has
removed what was left
of my skull cap and if
I don't tend to my head
I'll catch a chill.

Stale summer smell
still lingers in the kitchen air.
From the balcony I see many men,
men walking alongside my
building below in shorts
and tank tops,
pretending they can still feel
fingertip rays from the sun.

But they know it's gone.
For today, maybe the week,
the heat has gone off in search
of a more deserving city
for the time being.

Pretending won't make these men
feel it, but hope keeps
their leg hair raised on point,
similar to the hackles of the runt of the litter
when he snarls for the last piece
of meat in a *****, metal bowl.

I.
There will be a day, you say,
where the world stops and all that ever was
and all there ever will be would cease.

                                                                     Trust.

There will be a time, he says,
when I will no longer love like how
you built the moon for me, balancing
upon a staircase of wooden boxes.

                                                                    Trust.

You don’t care. You let him weave
with string, then with your soul,
your heart the ball of yarn at the end.

                                                                   Trust in him.

You are a lover. You are a fool.

II.
Light. Soft light and harsh light and lantern lights
and fairy lights and neon lights and flashlights.

Light, like that which comes on in his eyes
when you tell him you want Honey Stars, and
you two spend the night picking at those overhead.
He tells you that when you drop stars into the
Pacific, they become sweet, like honey.

All you wanted was cereal, but you are a fool
one that picks at stars that have long since died,
one that can’t tell a corpse from a sparkle.

You don’t get any stars in the end, except for the
ones in his eyes.

A fool.

III.
This is where you grew poppies,
expecting to harvest the seeds and
crush,
thinking that maybe,
just maybe,
the dust will help you sleep, like the
sand of the Golden man.
You teeter on the edge that separates
wanting and needing,
You walk on a slowly fraying tightrope.

Tight,
        like your heart.
Rope,
          like how you rope
souls into believing you,
how you rope in friends
and demand their faith.

This is where you rearranged
his little soldier boys, where the
ceramic crashed against the wood
and refused to break.

Not like you, then.

This is where you kissed him,
over
       and
             over, because
air is useless without oxygen
and oxygen is useless to a pair of collapsed lungs.

IV.
You hate him. You hate his strength,
how he bangs the table and it snaps in two.

You hate his laughter, scratching against the walls
in tune with your sobbing.

You hate how you have to scan his eyes before you sit,
have to look before you make the metaphorical leap.

You hate how you let him force open your legs,
hate his pride at being in control, and his guilt
for the purple and blue spots on your skin,
like garish children’s make-up,
a clown at the party of life.

You hate how he holds onto your sides till
you hear the crack, and how you tell the doctors
you fell, because you did.

You are still falling, every time he looks at you,
Honey Stars in his eyes.

You don’t hate him. You love him,
that’s why you come back to be destroyed.

You hate yourself.
That’s also why you come back, to be destroyed.

You can’t repair hurt like that
but you try anyway, because the best part of building
is when you knock down.

V.
It is painful, but pain is a symptom of life.
You let him hurt you, let him crush your
bones and self-esteem, because no one
taught you how to love and if it means giving,

then you must be doing it right.

VI.
Wake, from the best sleep you’ve had,
wake from a nightmare, to a nightmare.
He is gazing out of the window, with
suspenders to hold up his pants
and his courage.
Your canines sink into your thumb, as
he turns to you and he says, “Hera,
I love you, but–”

The memory ends there.

Hera was the wife of Zeus,
goddess of women and marriage.
Your parents made a mistake,
more than once.

VII.
You are alone.
Quiet was never your thing, silence the most
deafening noise in the world.

This is your hand, a hand that once
rested against his neck, a hand that
felt his blood pulsing in his veins.

This is your hand and it is green
not from gardening but with envy.

These are your shoulders, shoulders that once
carried backpacks stuffed with Honey Stars
and sour things like love.

These are your shoulders, and even Atlas
cannot carry the weight on them.

This is your heart, and it is red.
This is your soul, and it is aluminium,
his words like sandpaper, polishing
until your soul tears and can be collected,
filtered and cross-examined under a microscope.
It will be reactive with the acid of his absence,
but only for a while.

This is your neck, and the rope feels rough
compared to your memories of his hands.