flowing silently through the room
my voiceless thoughts take shape in the smoke of your cigar
and disappear into the darkness.
my lips have a story to tell, but your eyes are so cruel.
and if only I could learn to stop waiting for you, I would run against the wind and begin to fall in love with myself again.
but my steps are cemented to your words and goodbye has never been so hard.
and you sit there pretending you don't see me breaking
and you shut the door knowing after tonight I will fake a smile at the change.
my words again silenced by the cruelty in your eyes
and I know that I will have to learn a way to unlove you.
The whispers bounce of the walls
They land on my skin
feel it breaking free
free from the chains
that've held it captive from fire.
I'm ready to let you love me.
It's 3am and I'm struggling,
Strangling the thoughts that will obnubilate my vision
I'm trying to avoid a collision
Between my tears,
My tears, and my freshly washed pillow case
Because when my tears rear its head,
It will be hours before I get to bed,
and even then,
These thoughts will haunt me in my head
I know these somber spaces so well
They are a part of me,
They are my shadow
They lay with me,
Try not to roll over and fall in
Why does my skin have to be abiding?
Can't it just melt away, by the end of the day
Taking with it all this pain?
Because I'm drowning,
Asphyxiating in other people's thoughts
I've begun to wonder which is worse
Or everything at once.
Do you remember the way I couldn't keep my eyes off you?
The way that I couldn't keep my hands off you?
How a smile crossed my face when you were in sight?
My God, I couldn't even feel your warmth because it was a spark to my **** imagination.
Do you remember my texts?
My late night outfits?
Oh how crazy I was about you!
It was almost love..
I remember how suddenly you just stopped calling.
I remember how I was left waiting for you to pick me up on Saturday night.
I remember you stopped answering.
How you stopped trying.
You wouldn't even hold my hand.
I remember how I would call you and you wouldn't answer
You just left...
Now you're back, and as much as I wish we could get back what we had, you see; its gone.
You missed this train.
You could have been the one, enjoying, celebrating life, but you missed it.
It's gone, and almost doesn't count.
Submerged in a misty smell..
It reminds me of you,
The way you play with my clothes underneath the covers,
And how you greet me when I come over late night...
With sleepy kisses.
The way you hold on to my thighs when I'm next to you,
And how your lips leave a wet trail of love down my back when you want me.
It reminds me of our dark nights when all we see is our glistening skin with moonlight shining through...
If she could speak...
But for now she only watches...
She is amazed by the way your hands love me before dawn.
And HE will hold me
And HE will say..
"I know you tried"
I stayed clear
clear of all the bad things
And HE will let me rest
Because for the longest I've been restless
I feel as if I'm fighting demons in my sleep
My love for my lover is
on the outside.
on the inside.
just as the roaring river of fire within a volcano.
I am an earthquake within this skin.