Sometimes you love something so much you want it all the time
and the website says it's good for you, and all your friends pay for it but you get it for free. And you get the best stuff.

The dark fruity bitterness fills you with energy
and sometimes creativity
But then it keeps you up
distracted and distraught

And it's 4 am and you can't end this endless wave of panic

and you realize the coffee is causing your heart to fill with blood
and explode onto every single page

and you try to cry but that doesn't work.
So you try to sleep but you can't quite breathe
and you call and Angels but they are protecting someone else


It's time to kick the habit
So you let it go
Empty your cup

and remember how lovely a cup of sage tea can be. <3

Sometimes the things you love, love you back in all the right places.

See it melt you
You're eyes see what you can't have
Stone heart and warm fingers
A struggle between easy and bad

Never Mind  what they tell you
Never Mind  the games that you win
Success means nothing to that one
To her you'll never fit in

There goes the young man who hurt you
He'll torment and invade your mind
You want to strangle and beat him to end it
But an eye for an eye makes you blind

Expand and contract for salvation
Surrender to what you don't know
Love takes and it takes and it breaks you
So you grab what you can and you go.

Hold you
Till your wings fall still
Till the light is shadowed
By the window
And the bees rest
And the blossoms fall
Till the graves are filled
And the notes stop ringing
Pages burned
Food consumed
And then through the long winter night
Where sweaty hands grasp each other
And pretend that monsters
Just live in childhood
And parents never die
Hold me
Hold me till this wretched air that fills my lungs has all but fled
Hold me till me ribs creak and crack
And painted faces with rosey fingers
Paw the pavement
***** the spinning wheel
Tell me the stories
That have happy endings
And kiss me till i wake
To find that true love
Isn't something sold by eharmony
Hold us
Till the sunrise
Dusts the demons and invites all
To return to the ordinary grief
Of day to day dying
Holding on to nothing
Because death
does not
Have a plus one

Let me be calm

Let me be free

This is not all I am allowed to be

Let me be wild

Let me be proud

It does not mean I am always this loud

Let me be happy, let me be sad,
and occasionally
let me be unreasonably,
and furiously
mad,

Let me be Poignant,

Let me be deep

Yes I am sheltered, and yes I will leap,

Leap with no fear and leap with such force

Because art and purpose will serve its course

I am a vehicle of the soul, and a pardon from god

A label will brand me and cage me and blind me

But the labeler’s mind will lose me or find me.

I am so much more than a statistic or name,

So much more than a figure of a body or frame,

So much life,

so much breath, so much thought, so much depth, so much fight, so much light…

So much to learn and so much to know. So much to change, so much to grow,

So here i stand, alone and untamed. I am unarmed and silent and i am never afraid…

So don’t dare decide that i’m something i’m not, don’t dare cast me in your story if you don’t know the plot.

Let me define my own divine path. Your imperfections are teachers and i love you for that.

I know not my purpose,

i know not my goal,

but this is the song of the many sided soul

Still the winters clutch at straws
the stars reflect what isn't there.
Time is distant when you don't want to live.
And life is boundless when death sleeps in your bed.
It's time to start the bitter walk
past all that I once was.
And pick up the pieces that I forgot.
With frozen fingers tune the strings
And play the scattered notes.

We used to talk more,
you and I.
When I was the sea and you were the sky.

I'd sit with you and hold your head.
And ask you how you like your bread.
and maybe kiss you on the eyes.
and let the winter hide your lies.
And listen to your sleeping cries.
and your heartbeats
your cavernous chest.
Your mystery waiting to be explored.
But others ignored.
And I grew
like i said i would never do

and so
i forget that I am in love with you.
But you are good.
You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.
And I miss wanting you.
I miss what you brought out in me.

I know the next will not know you like I did.
Because my beloved you are dying.
You're melting, bleeding, drowning body, will sink us all.

Or perhaps not.
Perhaps you are just the healthy body you always were and your fever is killing me off, like an infection.

Let me stay
I promise to worship you
once I have control of my limbs again
and can stand in your sight.
and love all of you
I can still hear it
The still surviving pulse.
Forgive us.