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Not your name
Not your nationality
Below all the fame
Below the unreality
Deep down
Who are you?

Forget your license
Forget your authorization
Forget your conveyance
Forget every legal documentation
Now tell me
Who are you?

Deep down in the dark room of your empty soul
Deep down below your average conscience
There are only the things you put there yourself  
All your unused options
And the unanswered questions
like 'Who are you?'


Deep down below
There are only feelings
All your feelings
That you chose to confine
But it really doesn't matter who you are deep down
Because nobody carries around a shovel all the time.
You,
  you are the cause of your own demise
  shelling yourself away in
  a mere attic of your marvelous mind
  selectively mute
  & self-paralyzed.

      Shake your self awake now!
      I just can't seem to understand
      how such a beautiful soul
      can be so strung out of sorts
      when my tiny heart
      pumps all of it's oxygen to provide
      some sort of love & support.

          Heart beat, fingers on your pulse
          lets race our hearts
          till we've nothing but beaten pulps.
          In all of my small wounds
          I've made, remind me
          to fill them with salt.

              I've slit my throat
              here's your perfect American movie scene
              slow, merciless & know, if
              it helps you breathe-
              every time your name escapes my cracked lips,
                                                                                

                                                                                                       I bleed.
your broken bindings have torn my pages.
Change The Inner You

When you look back at your life
If you don't like the view
Then you must look within yourself
And change the inner you

Change the way you see yourself
With all the things you do
Give yourself a different look
A different point of view

Show a side that's seldom seen
And allow for something new
Create your own reflection
And do it just for you

It is only when you're honest
With what you see inside
That you create the image
Of what's seen within your eyes

When you look back at your life
If you don't like the view
Then you must look within yourself
And change the inner you


Carl Joseph Roberts
My New Found Fashion Trend

You know I never really understood
How they wear their pants that way
Pull them down to their knees
And walk around all day

But they say it is the fashion
It's a new trend I should try
That underwear is very cool
And catches peoples eyes

So I decided I should try it
I pulled my pants down way too far
Then to show the world how hip I was
I walked through Central Park

All the children were excited
I saw them point my way
They even told their teacher
But she made them look the other way

Well then two cop's they came running
I assumed to see my style
I thought my trend was catching on
But the cop's they didn't smile

Those cops they'd start a new trend
One I didnt like as much
They put my hands behind my back
And slapped on silver cuffs

Now this jail cell seems so small
With this big man next to me
He says he'll be my best friend
And that he likes just what he sees

So glad to see the courtroom
Filled with people from the streets
But they say rethink your fashion trend
If you're wearing a G-String

Now the judge he was not happy
But he did not give me time
He said wear a G-String where you want
No one can take that right

You see the Judge he wore a G-String
Underneath his long black robe
He did not find me guilty
So a free man I could go

So I walked outside of the courtroom
As a free man once again
And became so very famous
For my new found Fashion Trend

Carl Joseph Roberts
The clock ticks away
as another sleepless night
breaks way for another
wasted day.

The ***** ran out hours ago.
I was left to wait out the clock
during that empty part of
the night when the
liquor stores close and
the street walking girls
walk their
final walk of the night.

Too wired to sleep,
mind too full of
memories to do
anything else but try
to **** them all away.
Sat on the toilet and
fixed myself a shot.
***** for breakfast,
two beers I'll call my lunch.
Dinner I'll spend 
with her
in a restaurant,
picking at my
plate while
tossing back the
wine.
Again disappointing
that girl who
still remembers
that guy I used to be.

This day I'll spend like
all the rest,
battling to be me.
The past recedes and
my need to stay numb
grows more with every
deed remembered.

These days don't change,
but most of the faces do.
There aren't too many who will
stick around and watch you
wait on death.

There are those who
remember you
and try there best to
guide you back.
If they could
only hear
the symphony
of screams
within my head.
Or the faces that
flash,dead enemy's
and dead friends.

If just a few of them
could experience
the empty in which I
live in.
Then maybe
they'd bring me a
bottle.
Christen my
voyage like a ******
ship to sea.

Wish me
well  then leave me be
and hold true to those
memories of  
the Who
I used to be..
take me to the ocean that's where i want to die
thats where you sat and held me every time i cry
but now my tears are because of you
so it's the only thing i want to do
you're my anchor so release me
and watch me drown at sea
i can see you're done trying
which means i should be done crying
but these tears will never end
into the depths i'll descend
my insides are already sinking
caused by too much deep thinking
so please let me drown in the sea
don't pretend that you'd miss me
Further down the river
is a quiet island,
my hideout in days of yore
when love as a narcotic
seeped in to my blood streams
coursing wildly to the beat
of my thumping heart.
Tides from the estuary
never touch its shores
waters are wave-less there,
nature is at her fecund best.

We rowed and rowed
but found nothing there,
turbulently lashing waves
told us a story different
from the one  for long
in my mind encapsulated.
I stood for a moment, accepting defeat
and felt  the maelstrom of time
swirling around, emphasizing on
the irrevocability of  the things past.

From where does this pain come?

Once close to my heart,
the island in my mind's stream,
though I left behind and
swam forward not to look back,
is still there, though not here in space.
i think sometimes you just have to deal with being scared.
you just have to accept that being scared is being human
(an infinitesimal dot on a map)...
that though you are small you are not powerless
and though sometimes you can't talk because you are crying
or because you are afraid
it is ok
the things you feel work just as good as words
sometimes.

i think sometimes
even when big parts of us are frightened
we have to listen to the little part that says stay

i am glad i stayed.
though i am still frightened
i will learn to live with my fear
i am just a small human
but i am a big spirit.
My throat must a venue
                                       for The Lonely Hearts Club Band



I swallow my pulse
                                 and hold my tongue in my hand.


                                

Vivid lucid reality,  
                               popping all my stitches at the seams




on the other line, your consciousness fades
                                                           ­           as I envy your quest for dreams.





You're always in my heart though,
                                                      ros­ary beads in hand with your protection





for it is in nights like this, I simply wish
                                                         for a moment of undying affection.






Arms around me through the night,
                                                          ­ the morning sun in his hazel eyes;




filled with smiles for all eternities
                                                      ­& a stomach full of butterflies.




                                                            ­                                                   xo
See, I am just a canvas
and my favourite colour's red.
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