she sang a song on that spring day
twas bright and gay
her strains mirthful
were so joyful

her tune of delight did resound
o'er the playground
her jovial song
loud and so strong

those who heard her shining singing
found it thrilling
twas a treasure
that bought pleasure

we can sit up all night in some hotel room,
curled beneath each other, listening to the sound
of heartbeats and old cassette tapes.
you are the kind of girl i want to make mixtapes for.
when i see your smile, i collapse.
you give me the faintest idea of what a heart attack might feel like
and, god ******, i enjoy it.
i remember you telling me that you haven’t felt purposeful
or useful or strong enough to be either
and i looked in your eyes and saw
the only person who’d ever been strong enough
to admit that their only purpose was to be purposeless.
and if life is only lived to find promise,
then what the **** is death for?

i’ve seen god on lonely street corners
where homeless men stare at buses
wishing they had enough change in their cups
to change things.
i’ve seen happiness in the eyes of single motherscarrying three jobs and a failed marriage
in the shopping bags they drag up the stairs.
i’ve seen one bedroom apartments with more space to call home
than you could ever find in that mansion on the hillside.

and i’ve seen you look so helpless
that the only help i could offer
was to let you climb out of it yourself.
i have trouble letting you be.
i have trouble finding myself.
i have trouble being anywhere but in your arms.
there are disciples in your chest
preaching off-balanced wisdom and there are
people written across your skin
all of them whispering,
"you made me feel welcomed.
you made me feel something.”
and if you only understood how lonely the bus rides get
or how hard it is to walk home in the dark
carrying nothing but your heartbreak,
then you would know what it meant
when i told you that you are the only thing
to ever make any of it worth it.
i will write your name in my poetry until it no longer has a meaning.
i will kiss you until my lips no longer make your knees weak.

i was homeless until i met you.
you handed me enough change to change things.
i hope you don’t find better things to do with your day
than to pass by my corner
and smile.

your are purposeful and you are useful
and you never had to be either.

No more broken within feelings
Lacking empathy for others
Able to look in the mirror and say looking good
Im proud of mt efforts others might try to kick me down but im not staying down
Im smiling because the world ***** but im awesome
I laugh because I have a sense of humor others dont appreciate
Im glad to have an honest grandma shes so honest it hilarious ive never laughed so hard in my life
Hanging with my cousin his parents threw him out hes an outcast like me thats we get along so well.
Not dating because its not for me I love women but they dont love themselves so they dont have time for me since they are figuring it out
Im enjoying my books its fresh perspective hoping to find my writing style I feel something is missing
The gym is my escape Im getting my body back I chunked up working on my gut and soft core

We'll have that young love




Even when we're old

and i am no longer
underneath your spell
i feel numb
but it's hard to tell
will this last?
or will i ease back in
or is my pain just masked
i can't tell because  of how long it's been
how long has it been?
long enough, that's for sure
i have long since felt abandoned
i have long since been taken in
but i don't know how to feel
without your spell i am numb
will i resist or easily succumb?
i am reminded that even though
it might provide pain
emotions are beautiful
it might be nice to feel again